Toxic Relationships & Narcissism Blog

What to Say When a Hijackal Says You’re Being Overly Sensitive

Oh, that’s crazy-making, right? You try to talk about your feelings and you get shut down? In today’s episode, I give you insights into this whole nasty process of being blamed for being overly sensitive when you’re actually speaking up for yourself when attacked. You know what I’m talking about. IT HURTS! Are you told that you’re

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Hijackals never stop finding fault and demanding control and power
Anger Management

Is Name-Calling Ever OK?

IS NAME-CALLING EVER OK? EVEN IN AN ARGUMENT? You lose it. You’re angry, out of control, and maybe, even a little out of your mind. You want to win. You want to be heard. You want to be acknowledged. You want to feel validated. So, some words you hate hearing from others come bellowing out

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This is MUST-KNOW information! Listen now, and keep yourself –and your children–safe! Is Your Hijackal® Partner Difficult, Or Actually Dangerous? Being with a Hijackal is a little like being part of that urban legend of cooking frogs: you don’t notice the dysfunction and abuse because the heat is slowly turned up. And, then? You’re cooked!

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how to respond to criticism

What Good Is There In Receiving Criticism From Someone You Hardly Know?

Have you ever experienced receiving criticism from someone you hardly knew–and, who hardly knew you?  It’s a strange situation, isn’t it? I think so. I wonder if they think it is a way to build intimacy in a relationship that is barely past the acquaintance stage? Or, is it an attempt to demonstrate their vast awareness

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leaving a Hijackal, leaving a narcissist, leaving a difficult relationship,
difficult person

How Will I Feel When I’m Leaving A Hijackal®, A Relentlessly Difficult Person?

Leaving a Hijackal®–that relentlessly difficult person who hijacks the relationship for his or her own purposes–can be a double-edged sword.  Hijackals scavenge the relationship for power, status, and control, and leave you feeling discouraged, demeaned, and disempowered.  You finally recognize the need to leave, and then what? In my Facebook group, a member posted an

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denial in relationships

Those Red Flags! Why Didn’t I See Them Sooner?

Hindsight is excellent. You know that. One of the hardest things to see when you’re falling in love is those red flags. You want to fall in love. It’s wonderful. It’s magical. Nothing should get in its way. Not even a Hijackal™*! Those red flags may not have been waving wildly, just quietly and occasionally.

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abusive behavior

When Is It A Rough Patch and When Is It Abuse? Recognize abuse!

Is what you’re going through–or watching someone else go through–just a rough patch or actually abuse? Too many people put up with bad behaviors they make excuses for, and put up with, that are really abusive and need to stop! Recognize abuse when it’s happening. No one likes to think they are being abused. You, like

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What Is Narcissistic Behavior? Believe Actions, Not Words!

Have you ever been lured into a store with the promise of a great–almost unbelievable–deal? Then, you get there and find that there are conditions: the deal is only available for people with perfect credit, green hair, purple eyes, an IQ of 220 and whose mother had no children? Otherwise,  you’re out of luck. Or,

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Hijackals never stop finding fault and demanding control and power
care about yourself

3 Big Reasons Why Hijackals NEVER Stop And Why You Must

You are kind, patient, considerate, compassionate, and nice. Perfect Hijackal® Bait! Sure, all people with those traits are not Hijackal Bait, but, if you’ve been around Hijackals in your growing up years, you may be normalized to accommodating the unkind, obnoxious, and demanding behavior of other people. If that’s the case, you are Hijackal Bait…and

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