Toxic Relationships & Narcissism Blog

7 Warning Signs and Wake-Up Calls That Your Partner is MORE Than Selfish

You may be thinking it’s just selfishness, but it could be much more. Don’t miss this! You excuse. You rationalize. You justify. And, repeat. You think that if you are more understanding, loving, compassionate, or giving then the demands will stop. Not if you’re with a Hijackal®! That’s why it’s so important to know if that’s

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energy leaks

Got Energy Leaks? Procrastination? Denial? Resentment? Forgiveness?

GUEST: Brenda Adelman. Author of My Father Killed My Mother and Married My Aunt: Forgiving the Unforgivable Rhoberta gives you insights into why you may be keeping these leaks in place, and why you need to get rid of them now. You are holding yourself back, creating obstacles, and preventing your growth towards satisfying goals in life. Brenda is an

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7 Red Flags That The Person You’re Dating is Toxic. Run!

When you’re dating, you want to see the best in the other person, and you want them to really like you. Right? BUT, too frequently, the hope that someone will love you clouds your willingness to see the red flags that tell you that they never will. Don’t miss these dating red flags! So many

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Love, Dump, Or…? What About Radical Acceptance?

GUEST: Andrea Miller, CEO of, author of Radical Acceptance DR. RHOBERTA SHALER: How Do You Create and Experience Acceptance in Your LIfe? You want to be seen, heard, known, acknowledged, appreciated, and accepted in life. By your parents. By your partner. By others in your world. Not everyone is willing or capable of doing that. I’ve written

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all your fault what's happening.

Angry with a Hijackal? Why Payback Won’t Work

Hijackal behavior is outrageous, and it gets your blood boiling too often, right? They are like vampires, draining your blood. And, you just want to show ’em how it feels. And, you want them to see how much they hurt you. And, truth be told, you want them to hurt the way you are hurt. So,

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5 Ways to Recognize Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating, infuriating, and frankly…unfair! And, it’s sneaky! In fact, so sneaky that you’re often caught up in thinking that it actually makes some sense…at first, or for a while. Then, it dawns on you: Something’s not right with this but I can’t quite put my finger on it. So, in this recording,

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What to Say When a Hijackal Says You’re Being Overly Sensitive

Oh, that’s crazy-making, right? You try to talk about your feelings and you get shut down? In today’s episode, I give you insights into this whole nasty process of being blamed for being overly sensitive when you’re actually speaking up for yourself when attacked. You know what I’m talking about. IT HURTS! Are you told that you’re

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Hijackals never stop finding fault and demanding control and power
Anger Management

Is Name-Calling Ever OK?

IS NAME-CALLING EVER OK? EVEN IN AN ARGUMENT? You lose it. You’re angry, out of control, and maybe, even a little out of your mind. You want to win. You want to be heard. You want to be acknowledged. You want to feel validated. So, some words you hate hearing from others come bellowing out

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This is MUST-KNOW information! Listen now, and keep yourself –and your children–safe! Is Your Hijackal® Partner Difficult, Or Actually Dangerous? Being with a Hijackal is a little like being part of that urban legend of cooking frogs: you don’t notice the dysfunction and abuse because the heat is slowly turned up. And, then? You’re cooked!

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how to respond to criticism

What Good Is There In Receiving Criticism From Someone You Hardly Know?

Have you ever experienced receiving criticism from someone you hardly knew–and, who hardly knew you?  It’s a strange situation, isn’t it? I think so. I wonder if they think it is a way to build intimacy in a relationship that is barely past the acquaintance stage? Or, is it an attempt to demonstrate their vast awareness

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leaving a Hijackal, leaving a narcissist, leaving a difficult relationship,
difficult person

How Will I Feel When I’m Leaving A Hijackal®, A Relentlessly Difficult Person?

Leaving a Hijackal®–that relentlessly difficult person who hijacks the relationship for his or her own purposes–can be a double-edged sword.  Hijackals scavenge the relationship for power, status, and control, and leave you feeling discouraged, demeaned, and disempowered.  You finally recognize the need to leave, and then what? In my Facebook group, a member posted an

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