Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships

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Latest Episode
  • Hijackals NEED to Play Victim
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on August 2, 2022 at 5:03 AM

    Oh, the webs Hijackals weave to trap you into their fabric! One of those is playing the victim, and another is the "you don't care enough for me" one. Sounds familiar? Learn more about the subtle and obvious ways they try to keep you trapped.Oh, yes, they will do anything for attention and to bring […]

Straight, compassionate  talk to help you clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of the relentlessly difficult people I call Hijackals®.  Understand what’s really going on within their volatile or passive-aggressive ways.

You particularly need to tune in if you are in any way being abused: devalued, demeaned, dismissed, and discounted verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually.

Then, see the cycles and know your best next steps: what has to change within you, and between you and the Hijackal in order to make good decisions and changes to manage these difficult, toxic–often disturbing–relationships!

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  • Steps to Overcoming the Emotional Fatigue Caused By a Hijackal
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on July 26, 2022 at 5:46 AM

    You know it. You're exhausted. Emotionally exhausted. You may have backed down so far that you feel like you're playing dead. Energy depleted and wondering where to find some.First understand more about the symptoms of emotional exhaustion. Then, how to take steps to slowly find the energy---and motivation--to make some positive changes. Slowly regain some energy to move towards positive […]

  • 10 Things You Will NEVER Get From a Hijackal Human
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on July 12, 2022 at 5:02 AM

    Hijackal Humans are different than Healthier Humans. You look to them to think, think & feel the way you do, but they don't. Know these 10 things you hope are going to show up in your relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal Human will not.Because you're likely a Healthier Human, you want to believe a Hijackal will change. Sadly, no. The relationship will never be healthy, balanced, and […]

  • 10 Shattering Signs Your Partner is Having an Emotional Affair
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on June 28, 2022 at 3:31 AM

    "Oh, we're just friends." You want to believe that, but how do you know if it's true. Here's how to tell if that "friendship" IS emotional infidelity, an emotional affair, and/or just plain cheating. Don't be fooled. See & believe these signs!!!It's tempting to believe them, especially because then you don't have to feel the feelings or take action. BUT, doing so is unhealthy! HIGHLIGHTS OF […]

  • How Emotional Abuse Creates Fear of Rejection
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on June 21, 2022 at 4:51 AM

    Find yourself afraid you're not good enough? You won't be hired? You won't be wanted? Loved? Accepted? Fear of rejection may be the culprit underlying those thoughts. SO IMPORTANT to recognize so you can overcome the fears that may be holding you back from healthier relationships with yourself and others...including the NASTY Hijackals!Recognize the limitations that the fear of rejection creates […]

  • Recognizing How GASLIGHTING is Intentionally Crazy-Making
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on June 14, 2022 at 3:51 AM

    Bit by bit, you start to second-guess yourself, and even question your sanity. Gaslighting will do that! Learn what it is and how to recognize even the most subtle forms. ALSO, gaslighting is emotional abuse. So, see it so you can stop it from making you crazy!Gaslighting is emotional abuse and psychological manipulation. NOT GOOD! The sooner you see the more subtle forms as well as the more […]

  • Dealing with Hijackal Lies: Pathological & Natural
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on June 7, 2022 at 4:57 AM

    Lies of any kind undermine trust. Big difference between folks who decide to lie and those who don't. Learn how you can respond effectively, though it may not stop the lying. Learn the distinction between natural & pathological liars. It's a big one! But, does it make a difference when you're on the receiving end of it? HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why people lieWhy Hijackals think you'll […]

  • How to Safely Read Narcissistic Hijackal Smiles & Smirks
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on May 31, 2022 at 4:57 AM

    Can you trust a smile? How do you read a smirk? What's the difference? What do they mean? When dealing with narcissistic Hijackals, you REALLY need to know! Learn about detecting signs of danger. Know when you need to protect yourself. Know when it's safe to connect (and, it rarely is when you have a Hijackal partner, parent, sibling, or adult child, sadly) HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:The […]

  • How Hijackals (Narcissists) Keep You Hooked By Mixed Messages
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on May 24, 2022 at 5:17 AM

    Yes? No? Maybe? Someday? Your head can be spinning! What to believe? How to decide? What to pay attention to? MIXED MESSAGES keep you hooked, questioning your sanity, and second-guessing yourself. One thing you CAN BE CLEAR about: you need to see those mixed message for what they are: CONTROL.It's tempting to focus on the parts of a mixed message that you SO want to be true. You can fool yourself […]

  • How You Are Manipulated By a Narcissist's Voice
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on May 17, 2022 at 4:24 AM

    Whether you have a Hijackal parent, partner, sibling, or other of the narcissistic variety, knowing how they manipulate you with their voices is important to recognize. AND, they only do some of that manipulating consciously. Once you're aware of these important cues, you can refuse to be affected. GREAT!This episode will help you see how you're being subconsciously affected by the tone, pace, […]

  • 6 Nasty Ways Hijackals Perpetrate Post-Separation Abuse
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on May 10, 2022 at 5:06 AM

    Relief! Yes, you think you'll feel it when you leave an emotionally abusive relationship, and you will...in some ways. Then, in too many ways, the Hijackal is likely to do everything possible to exert continued control over you...and, over your children. Eight ways Hijackals continue to exert control. Is it happening to you?(NOTE: This episode ends abruptly due to technical issues.)HIGHLIGHTS OF […]

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