Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships

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Latest Episode
  • Do You Have an Emotional Terrorist in Your Life?
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on January 24, 2023 at 4:57 AM

    Partner? Parent? Sibling? Child? Someone holding you as an emotional hostage? SEE THE SIGNS! You may be making excuses for their behavior, and not seeing their destructive, manipulative ways. You need to clearly recognize these signs of emotional terrorists in action so you can clearly refuse to […]

New video feature!
What's Healthy? What's NOT?!

Got a relationship issue that keeps popping up?

Want to know if you’re making a mountain out of a molehill, or it’s really NOT a good sign? 

Ask here! 

Describe your situation below, and I may choose it as the topic for an upcoming video in my new series – What’s Healthy? What’s Not?!

Straight, compassionate  talk to help you clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of the relentlessly difficult people I call Hijackals®.  Understand what’s really going on within their volatile or passive-aggressive ways.

You particularly need to tune in if you are in any way being abused: devalued, demeaned, dismissed, and discounted verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually.

Then, see the cycles and know your best next steps: what has to change within you, and between you and the Hijackal in order to make good decisions and changes to manage these difficult, toxic–often disturbing–relationships!

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  • Feel Lonely WITH Your Partner?
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on January 17, 2023 at 6:23 AM

    Sure Signs: They are Emotionally Unavailable...AND, it's not your fault! You can feel VERY lonely in a supposedly close relationship. You do everything you can to close the gap, yet nothing works. This episode will help you see what's up, and why it's a THEM problem, and not a YOU problem. Valuable to know so you won't lose sleep!Recognizing the signs of emotional unavailability can relieve you […]

  • 20 Ways Childhood Trauma Shows Up In Your Adult Life
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on January 10, 2023 at 6:28 AM

    Wonder why you do what you do? Feel like you feel? What shaped you? Listen to this episode and check for these twenty ways you could be feeling and behaving that are result of things you may not even think about in your childhood. Good step towards enhanced emotional well-being.It's NOT direct cause and effect. People and events in your early life CAN lead to the way your feel about yourself in […]

  • Got Peace? 8 Must-Haves for Emotional Well-Being
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on January 3, 2023 at 5:38 AM

    Are you focused on a Hijackal and not on yourself? That's just what the Hijackal wants you to do. Time for focus on your own internal well-being. In this episode, you'll hear 8 MUST HAVES, and, more importantly, WHY they are an essential place to start when you're feeling put down, worn down, and torn down by a narcissistic Hijackal. Regain your center. Reclaim your power...and rebuild your […]

  • Why Gaslighting Sadly is the Word of the Year for 2022
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on December 27, 2022 at 6:43 AM

    It's a sad turn of events when a way of misleading and manipulating people is the word of the year for Merriam-Webster. It's TOO much. It's emotional abuse. It's TOO frequent. Have you been gaslighted? Do you wonder if you're experiencing it? It can begin very subtly, and you might feel a little flattered...or close. Slowly it becomes more persistent, and you might start second-guessing yourself […]

  • How & Why Hijackals Reject Equality
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on December 20, 2022 at 5:15 AM

    So frustrating, disappointing, and infuriating! Hijackals will NOT allow you to be equal in all the ways that count in a relationship. They reject it. It helps you to see it when you hear how and why it happens. You can feel it, for sure, but SO MUCH BETTER to know what's up, right?Ever have the lingering feeling that the person you have in mind right now is not interested in ever letting you […]

  • Hijackals® = Masters of Bait & Switch
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on December 13, 2022 at 4:39 AM

    Promises! Proclamations! Pronouncements of just what you want to hear. Does it happen as promised? No! See tactics for what they are: ways to get you stay, or get you onside, or get around you. SO important to recognize the bait & switch as it's happening. This episode helps you do just that! Hijackals use "Bait & Switch" tactics to get you to stay, to get off their backs, to get you […]

  • Handling the Horrors of Hijackal In-Laws
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on December 6, 2022 at 5:30 AM

    Whether they are your in-laws--parents or siblings, or your adult children's in-laws, you can feel frustrated, infuriated, diminished, dismissed, or downright denied by in-laws you need to be right and want to be in control. It can tear your relationships apart. Worse, it can tear YOU apart! In this episode, you'll learn to recognize subtle and in-your-face screaming signs that Hijackal in-laws […]

  • Any Chance You're Addicted to the Drama?
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on November 29, 2022 at 4:56 AM

    You need to consider whether or not you're addicted to the drama of being with a Hijackal or any other relentlessly difficult person. You may not have ever thought about it that way, BUT it's SO important to check out whether or not you ARE ADDICTED to drama. This is something you can change!!!Is your life an emotional rollercoaster? Good sign there is drama involved! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: […]

  • Are You Overcoming Codependence?
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on November 22, 2022 at 6:07 PM

    Good for you! Recognizing codependent self-talk is a super important part of overcoming unhealthy emotional reliance on others...particularly those Hijackal others!!! Reflect on these ten things you may be in the habit of telling yourself, and change your habits to healthier ones. You are important. Your needs are important to know and to express. You are not selfish for keeping a balance between […]

  • Why You Might Be Afraid to Leave an Emotional Abuser
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on November 15, 2022 at 5:37 AM

    Leaving an emotional abuser is taxing, difficult, and brave. So many considerations! And, if you have children, so many more.When you're with a Hijackal, you can be too trauma-bonded to see your way clearly to dinner time, let alone to see your way to leaving. In this episode, I offer many considerations that can seem daunting...at first. Breaking them down makes it more apparent what might be […]

What folks have said…
You're an angel
Ah ! Because of this page and your help . You’re an angel, honestly. I would still be doing the same thing I was doing a year ago if I hadn’t met you.
From client who I helped leave a HJ relationship that had been dragging on for twelve years.

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