Why Power is the Enemy of Love
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on May 14, 2021 at 11:56 PM
Power in relationships can be a very difficult and disturbing issue. Of course, if you have a Hijackal parent, partner, sibling, or adult child, you're well aware of that! This episode will give you new insights into solving ever-arising issues! My guest, Mira Kirschenbaum, wrote in Why Couples […]
Straight, compassionate talk to help you clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of the relentlessly difficult people I call Hijackals®. Understand what’s really going on within their volatile or passive-aggressive ways.
You particularly need to tune in if you are in any way being abused: devalued, demeaned, dismissed, and discounted verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually.
Then, see the cycles and know your best next steps: what has to change within you, and between you and the Hijackal in order to make good decisions and changes to manage these difficult, toxic–often disturbing–relationships!
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How All-Or-Nothing Thinking Creates and Comes From Fear
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on May 11, 2021 at 4:12 AM
Everything is a potential deal breaker when all-or-nothing thinking prevails! People who were raised in emotional abusive homes learn to think that way. If you are with one, you may be on the receiving end and need to understand and name it. You need to be able to do that. If you were raised by an emotionally abusive parent, you may have learned to use all-or-nothing thinking as a safety […]
The Scam, Sham & Spam of Pseudomutuality
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on May 4, 2021 at 5:11 AM
You know how some people and families both "put on a front: and are "a closed shop?" You can sense that something is off but the story they tell sounds good. They may be SO good at the story that you can't help but believe it. Why would you question it? And then, you marry into it and the legs fall off! YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS! Mutuality is one of the three MUST-HAVES I talk about in order […]
What a Formerly Toxic CEO Learned That Transformed All His Relationships
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on April 29, 2021 at 5:26 PM
Have you experienced a toxic boss? Were you one? Today's guest, Krister Ungerbock, admits to, at one time, being an aggressive boss. Maybe, even, a toxic one. He changed. Learn why and how it became important to him to shift, and how that lead to his writing 22 TALK SHIFTS: TOOLS TO TRANSFORM LEADERSHIP When you have a toxic parent, you may pick up toxic behaviors. That can ruin your personal […]
RECOGNIZING REACTIVE ABUSE
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on April 27, 2021 at 3:38 AM
Do you ever wonder if you're the problem in a relationship when you know that the other person is forever pushing your buttons, blaming and shaming you? You may be suffering from "Reactive Abuse," and that's a cycle that you can put a stop to. You are patient. You give the benefit of the doubt. You take the blame. You apologize when you have done nothing wrong. Any of those sound familiar? Do you […]
PASTCASTING™? What it is
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on April 20, 2021 at 6:14 AM
Wonder why you don't seem to create the momentum to address your toxic relationship? PastCasting™ is one way. It's my term for a well-established internal program that immediately causes you to stay stuck, even when you know you're settling and unhappy. Or, why you are fearful and exhausted. It's so much easier to think of the past than face the present when you're in a toxic relationship. […]
10 Childhood Traumas You Need to Recognize & Recover From
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on April 15, 2021 at 11:46 PM
Ever wonder why you give difficult or toxic people too many chances? Ever wonder why you make a plan to leave, execute it, and end up going back? It happens, and it has a reason...or twelve! Childhood trauma often is recognized when it was obvious. Much of childhood trauma can be subtle and somewhat under the radar, too. You can heal that, too, and it can make a huge difference to your […]
Wonder Why People-Pleasers Attract Emotional Abusers?
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on April 13, 2021 at 3:51 AM
Growing up in an emotionally abusive home, or an overly compassionate home, or even and emotionally neglectful home can set you up to accept emotional abuse. It's not your fault! Maybe, you had a perfectly lovely home, but you were encouraged to put other people's needs, wants, expectations, and desires ahead of your own. That can happen, and you being so giving gets sadly and badly taken […]
Feeling Stuck & Second-Guessing Yourself?
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on April 6, 2021 at 5:18 AM
Yes, you are wise to be self-reflective, asking yourself "What is my part in the relationship difficulties?" #Hijackals and other toxic people want you to taking responsibility for the whole relationship. They are happy to tell you that everything is your fault. You know that. In this episode, I'm addressing the three BIG questions I am asked so frequently when someone gets to the point of […]
MEN: How to Revive a Dormant Sex Life After You've Killed the Connection
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on April 3, 2021 at 8:29 PM
Men, would you like to know what to say when your female partner is really angry? The answer--and many more--are in this episode with GS Youngblood, author of The Masculine in Relationship. He says, "There are so many couples in pain in the world. The man feeling that his partner criticizes and belittles him, and is not interested in sex. The woman dying for more emotional connection, and to feel […]
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on March 30, 2021 at 5:35 AM
All those promises! All those dreams! Was it future faking? That's a very common way that #Hijackals keep you engaged in the relationship. Learn how it works...and, what really doesn't work about it. You need to see this clearly, or you'll be hooked on hope! All you ever wanted and more...one day. That's the promise of future faking: when a Hijackal promises or alludes to giving you something you […]