Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships

Latest Episode
  • WHY HIJACKALS CREATE CHAOS & CONFUSION
    by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on July 27, 2021 at 5:30 AM

    Don't Hijackals love to stir the pot and keep it swirling? They definitely have goals in mind and one is to keep you spinning and the relationship unstable. You want that to stop. Get insights into stopping the spinning and instability in this episode.When a Hijackal wants power over you--and they […]

Straight, compassionate  talk to help you clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of the relentlessly difficult people I call Hijackals®.  Understand what’s really going on within their volatile or passive-aggressive ways.

You particularly need to tune in if you are in any way being abused: devalued, demeaned, dismissed, and discounted verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually.

Then, see the cycles and know your best next steps: what has to change within you, and between you and the Hijackal in order to make good decisions and changes to manage these difficult, toxic–often disturbing–relationships!

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  • ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM ENABLER'S GUILT?
    by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on July 20, 2021 at 5:51 AM

    You could be suffering from enabler's guilt without knowing what is causing your fear, anxiety, or depression. THE GOOD NEWS: It doesn't have to be that way. Once you recognize what's going on, you can take steps to change it, reclaim your power, and rebuild your life.Do you ever feel that, somehow, it's your job to make other people happy? Where do you think you got that idea? Who taught you […]

  • ENMESHED, ENTRENCHED OR EMERGING EMPOWERED?
    by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on July 13, 2021 at 5:40 AM

    Enmeshed, Entrenched, and Emerging Empowered! Know the Differences so YOU can Make a Difference! You know that being enmeshed or entrenched with another human is unhealthy, right? You may not recognize just what's happening right now, though. This episode will help you see what's unhealthy and how to move towards Emerging Empowered.Hijackals want you to become enmeshed and entrenched, along with […]

  • THE FAWNING RESPONSE
    by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on July 6, 2021 at 6:05 AM

    Fawning can be thought of as a step further than people-pleasing. SO, you really need to know about it. Until you become conscious of it, you may be doing it. To get your life back, and to be emerging empowered, you want to recognize it, take charge of it, and garner new insights and skills.When you have suffered from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder--which many people who have been abused […]

  • ARE YOU ABANDONING YOURSELF BY ENABLING OR CODEPENDENCE?
    by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on June 29, 2021 at 4:44 AM

    It is essential to recognize when you are abandoning yourself. You may think it's part of being a good person. It's a delicate balance, for sure. How do you re-establish that balance if you have become an enabler, or are codependent?  Listening to this episode is a very good start! At the extreme, you abandon yourself when you totally accommodate another person's needs and wants even when those […]

  • HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M READY TO DATE AFTER A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?
    by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on June 22, 2021 at 5:40 AM

    8 Essential Factors for Recovery After Emotional Abuse. that you need to consider even if you don't want to and just want to go get the love, fun, attention, and validation you've been missing. What if you skip them? It could be a disaster.You may be anxious to date, or you may be scared spitless! Or, sometimes ready and sometimes sure you'll never be! That's how uncertain you can feel once a […]

  • RECLAIMING YOUR BODY AFTER AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP GUEST: Anna-Thea
    by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on June 18, 2021 at 6:42 PM

    For many women--and men, too, restoring a feeling of safety to enjoy sexual intimacy seems a long way off. Anna-Thea share invaluable insights for regaining that sense of safety. Trust, too, can be a big issue. In fact, letting a new person into your life at all can cause concern. That's natural. You are wise to take care of yourself. Today's insights in this episode can help so much! You want to […]

  • 4 TYPES & 3 DEGREES OF NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOR
    by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on June 15, 2021 at 5:42 AM

    You likely give people the benefit of the doubt, or are willing to go the extra mile for them. That's healthy and usually reciprocal. Great! BUT, when you're with someone with narcissistic behaviors, it's not healthy or reciprocal. It's unhealthy and one-sided.Most people immediately think of a particular set of traits when they think of narcissism in general: the blustery, look-at-me, superior, […]

  • 10 Emotionally Abusive Things Hijackals Say Often
    by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on June 8, 2021 at 4:52 AM

    You hear the same demeaning, dismissive things from narcissistic Hijackals all the time. It wears you down and they put your down. You need tools and strategies to neutralize the poison when it's being poured on you. This episode gives you specific insights into keeping yourself safer. #Hijackals are always looking for a way, a place, an opening to exert power over you. I'm thinking that you're […]

  • THE DREADED SILENT TREATMENT
    by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on June 1, 2021 at 4:57 AM

    Ugh! The narcissistic Hijackal falls silent, ignores you, and won't respond. What's up with that? What are they hoping to achieve? What's your internal dialogue? What ways are most effective to respond? That's today's episode. So dismissive! Hijackals can treat you as though you're invisible, erased, and definitely not present. They want to impress upon you the contempt they feel for you. So, […]

  • HIJACKALS & THEIR WARPED SENSE OF FAIR, JUST & EQUAL
    by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on May 25, 2021 at 4:38 AM

    Hijackals & other narcissistic people have neither thought nor intention of leveling any playing field. No, it's about the all important winning. Why? What can you do or say? Use the ideas in this episode to step back from the crazy-making! When you're in a relationship with a relatively healthy person, you work things out. In working them out together, you build trust and safety. It brings […]

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