Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships

Latest Episode
  • 10 Surefire Signs of an Emotional Abuser
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on October 26, 2021 at 4:39 AM

    Emotional abuse. Don't ignore, tolerate, or deny it. See it clearly for what it is, AND how it is affecting you daily. Do you feel putdown, degraded, or are your feelings dismissed and discounted? Is someone trying to control you and/or manipulate you? The whole idea behind emotionally abusing you […]

Straight, compassionate  talk to help you clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of the relentlessly difficult people I call Hijackals®.  Understand what’s really going on within their volatile or passive-aggressive ways.

You particularly need to tune in if you are in any way being abused: devalued, demeaned, dismissed, and discounted verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually.

Then, see the cycles and know your best next steps: what has to change within you, and between you and the Hijackal in order to make good decisions and changes to manage these difficult, toxic–often disturbing–relationships!

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  • How Narcissistic Parents Damage Their Children - Part 1
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on October 19, 2021 at 4:45 AM

    Learn about the effects the "upside down parenting" of narcissists and other Hijackals can have on your adult life and relationships. Great insights to help you make positive changes, and life easier. First, though, you have to see it clearly to understand what really happened to you. Listen in to further understand the impact having a Hijackal parent makes. As a child, you have no experience and […]

  • How Hijackals Succeed at Emotional Blackmail
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on October 12, 2021 at 4:27 PM

    Hijackals are good at emotional blackmail. They are experts at the "Gotcha!" And, they constantly use it to their advantage. Learn more about the components of that blackmail and how to counteract them. Then, Hijackals fail to succeed at using it against you effectively!Learn what you can do to respond in empowering ways when narcissistic, borderline, or anti-social folks try to control you using […]

  • Reading the Shifting Scary Eyes of Hijackals As They Try to Control You
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on October 5, 2021 at 5:11 AM

    Yes, Hijackal's eyes are not the windows to their souls as much as windows into their fears and desires to control. It's real. You're not imagining it. You can feel safer with the insights in this episode.Research shows that humans notice faces first. Generally, that is what attracts us. Eyes tell you so much, if you interpret their messages accurately. When dealing with Hijackals--narcissistic, […]

  • Beware of Introjection & Projection!
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on September 28, 2021 at 5:02 AM

    You may not know these terms but you know the undercutting feeling one produces, and the scramble the other does! Very important to recognize and say no to! Listen in.Hijackals--people with narcissistic, borderline, passive-aggressive, anti-social traits--play to win. Only to win. They cannot and will not tolerate blame or shame to touch them and they work hard at being two or three steps ahead […]

  • HOW TO KEEP A HIJACKAL FROM TEARING YOU DOWN
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on September 21, 2021 at 4:04 AM

    Hijackals--passive-aggressive. narcissistic. anti-social folks--thrive on tearing you down. Sometimes, it's a slow picking at you. Sometimes, it's a constant beratement. Either way, you need to stop it from getting into your head and under your skin. And, if it's already there, I'll help you get it out. Listen in.Hijackals--my word for people who hijack relationships for their own needs and […]

  • HOW HIJACKALS CONFUSE YOU THROUGH COGNITIVE EMPATHY
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on September 14, 2021 at 5:08 AM

    Yet, it feels real, and you SO want it to be real. There's where the manipulation and confusion sets in. In this episode, I let you in on the secret that, much as you want it to be real, it isn't. (Did I mention that?) You need to see that clearly to keep from being hurt further!Empathy is defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary this way:"the action of understanding, being aware of, being […]

  • RECOGNIZING THE MANIPULATION OF TRIANGULATION
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on September 7, 2021 at 4:08 AM

    Clearly see how narcissistic people try to control information flow by going through other people, their desired "flying monkeys." Are there other people in your relationship with the Hijackal who are being approached by the Hijackal to serve their purposes? Do they engage them? Learn how to think about all that!SO important to recognize triangulation when it is happening! If it's already […]

  • HIJACKALS ARE BOUNDARY BULLDOZERS
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on August 31, 2021 at 5:38 AM

    Setting Boundaries. Calibrating Results. Making Decisions. No matter what the Hijackal thinks they are entitled to you need to set, express, and hold boundaries. In this episode, I'll give you effective ways to begin, or continue, setting clear boundaries and staying strong. Oh, and, what to do when those Hijackals trample them, too! Yes, Hijackals are boundary bulldozers. They don't like […]

  • QUELLING THE FEAR OF REJECTION...especially from narcissistic hijackals!
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on August 24, 2021 at 5:01 AM

    No one likes to be rejected. It's uncomfortable, painful, and a blow to the self-confidence and self-esteem. What can you do about it? How do you think it through? It's more difficult in a relationship with a Hijackal, Listen in to understand the dynamics and know what steps to take to quell the fear of rejection. if you had a Hijackal parent, you may well have developed a fear of rejection […]

  • Are You Striving to Be Good Enough for a Narcissist?
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on August 17, 2021 at 4:54 AM

    Even perfection won't and can't cut it if you're in relationship with a Hijackal of any stripes. This episode will help you understand this cycle, how it works, why it won't work, and why it needs to stop. These concepts can spell R-E-L-I-E-F for you! If you had a narcissistic or Hijackal parent, you were pre-conditioned to accept the poor treatment of a Hijackal. That's difficult enough! Then, […]

What folks have said…
I’m so relieved. I’ve been to several [sic:counselors] who sided with my crazy-making partner. Finally, someone who gets it, knows the feeling, sees the problem, and has helped me take positive steps.
Cindi

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