Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships

The small, subtle, often sneaky words, actions, and gestures that are small or brief slights, insults, insinuations, or put downs used to marginalize you are microaggressions. These behaviors are frequent and painful. But, they are small and they catch you off guard, wondering if you should speak up. Or, would it be making a mountain out of a molehill? Is that familiar? Hand in hand with […]

Ever wondered how you could possibly find forgiveness for a seemingly unforgivable act? Like being raped, beaten, and left for dead? Today's guest, Lois Wagner, found it, and she shares that journey with you today. Toxic relationships include many kinds of abuse: verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical, sexual, financial, and spiritual abuse. Moving beyond the toxic relationships is the first […]

Sneaky stuff this emotional brainwashing! It often starts slowly and seems understandable. But, it continues and tips you over into second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity, right? And, down the slippery slope! Listen in to uncover what may be happening--or has happened--to you. Great start!What's actual brainwashing? Cambridge Dictionary: "the process of making someone believe […]

Trauma-bonding is circular. The abuser creates the trauma, and then wants you to turn to them when you're hurt and traumatized. You are traumatized by something the abuser does, and you want the abuser to feel understood and you lean in. Circular! That's why it is SO important to understand the fourteen signs of a trauma-bonded person that I talk about in this episode. You may recognized the […]

Shame is often not spoken of, or acknowledged on both sides of an emotionally abusive relationship with anyone. Today's episode puts the spotlight on this component of emotional abuse, for both the perpetrator and the recipient. My guest, Beverly Engel, wrote in her most recent book, Escaping Emotional Abuse: Healing From the Shame You Don't Deserve: "Shame is the most destructive aspect of […]

You think you're doing your best, giving your all, compromising, and cooperating. In a healthy relationship, that's great. In a toxic relationship, you'll be expected to over-give and more. It's a setup for emotional abuse. Listen in to see it even more clearly! You may hear the word "enabling" and know that it is not a good thing. That's true. Knowing what it IS so you can clearly observe it […]

Every now and again, everyone has an off minute, and says or does something unkind, thoughtless, or just plain hurtful. Toxic people have many traits that happen too consistently...and, too often. The difference between a person having a toxic moment, and a person who has many toxic traits is that the healthier person will acknowledge, take responsibility for, and apologize after behaving poorly. […]

Toxic relationships are created when a partner exploits the vulnerabilities of the other. If you have ADHD tendencies, you may easily miss red flags as you pay attention to the charms, and are intrigued by the possibilities of the fake future they paint so readily. Fear and shame also play a part you need to recognize. Hijackals have a honed sense of recognition of vulnerabilities. They are on […]

People with narcissistic tendencies and traits want to have their way, and want you to do their bidding. If they really, really, really want something, or, if they are really, really, really afraid of losing something, they sometimes promise to change. How many promises has a narcissist--a narcissistic #Hijackal--made to you about changing behaviors? How many of those promises were kept? Right! […]

Hijackals use chemistry to manipulate and control you. They exploit it to feel they have power over you. It is a significant part of trauma-bonding. Get clear on what's really happening when you think you're in love, rather than knowing you're being used. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What lust, attraction, and attachment have to do with creating toxic relationshipsWhy #Hijackals want to […]