Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships

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Latest Episode
  • How You Are Manipulated By a Narcissist's Voice
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on May 17, 2022 at 4:24 AM

    Whether you have a Hijackal parent, partner, sibling, or other of the narcissistic variety, knowing how they manipulate you with their voices is important to recognize. AND, they only do some of that manipulating consciously. Once you're aware of these important cues, you can refuse to be affected. […]

Straight, compassionate  talk to help you clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of the relentlessly difficult people I call Hijackals®.  Understand what’s really going on within their volatile or passive-aggressive ways.

You particularly need to tune in if you are in any way being abused: devalued, demeaned, dismissed, and discounted verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually.

Then, see the cycles and know your best next steps: what has to change within you, and between you and the Hijackal in order to make good decisions and changes to manage these difficult, toxic–often disturbing–relationships!

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  • 6 Nasty Ways Hijackals Perpetrate Post-Separation Abuse
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on May 10, 2022 at 5:06 AM

    Relief! Yes, you think you'll feel it when you leave an emotionally abusive relationship, and you will...in some ways. Then, in too many ways, the Hijackal is likely to do everything possible to exert continued control over you...and, over your children. Eight ways Hijackals continue to exert control. Is it happening to you?(NOTE: This episode ends abruptly due to technical issues.)HIGHLIGHTS OF […]

  • Saying No to "Shoulds" & Toxic Shame
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on May 3, 2022 at 3:42 AM

    Who has told you what to do and how to do it? Who told you who you are and what you're worth? Did it include "shoulds" and shame? So important to recognize because it may be still playing a part in your life. Also, others can still tap into it, especially Hijackals. So many ways that narcissists and other Hijackals want to exert power over you, and do it by continuously shaming you, making you […]

  • Why Hijackals Traffic in Guilt
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on April 26, 2022 at 4:55 AM

    People have learned that making another person feel guilty is a quick way to control that person's emotions...negatively. You may be so used to it and you haven't questioned whether or not you've actually done what you are being accused of. OR, even more sad, you've been blamed so many times you've begun to feel that EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT. That's what happened when a healthier human spends to […]

  • Expectations, Agreements & Boundaries
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on April 19, 2022 at 6:42 AM

    When you're dealing with narcissistic Hijackals, you think one thing is in place, and the Hijackal thinks another. You think you have agreement and you sadly learn you don't. And, boundaries! SO important. Be clear what they are and how to manage them.Hijackals constantly move markers, and you need to know how to respond in healthier ways. Refusing to hold agreements or respect boundaries is […]

  • Why Hijackals Demand Enmeshment
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on April 12, 2022 at 3:58 AM

    So confusing to be with a demanding person! Worse to be with a demanding Hijackal who feels entitled to take center stage while walking over you to do so. Recognize the signs of enmeshment and how they serve the Hijackal but fail to serve you. In fact, enmenstment can hurt you terribly, mentally and emotionally..Beware of people who say "I know you better than you know yourself." Hijackals love […]

  • Cognitive Dissonance
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on April 5, 2022 at 5:33 AM

    Crazy-making? Oh, yes. Hijackals and other narcissistic folks can create havoc. You start second-guessing yourself, and even questioning your sanity. You can't tell which end is up or where you begin and end, either. Cognitive Dissonance plays a big part! If your relationship causes you to feel anxious, be paralyzed by self-doubt, or have difficulty making clear decisions, you're likely […]

  • 2 Crazy-Making Patterns Hijackals Use to Confuse
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on March 29, 2022 at 4:43 AM

    How do Hijackals make you second-guess yourself and question your sanity? Basic to them doing that is the two patterns in this episode of Save Your Sanity. Recognizing them in all their forms can help you in Escaping the Hijackal Trap.Hijackals are ALWAYS defending themselves, whether they need to or not. They are ALWAYS DEFENSIVE. Always on the alert for anything that could vaguely pass as shame […]

  • 8 Ways to Stand Up to Hijackal Disrespect
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on March 22, 2022 at 3:45 AM

    Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult people--like to dish out and scatter disrespect whenever they want to demonstrate power and control. NO! That has to stop!In this episode, I'm offering you 8 solid ways to work within yourself and say NO TO DISRESPECT. Eight very good ways to reclaim your personal power and give voice to some boundaries. Listen in. These are MUCH NEEDED strategies!Respect […]

  • Recognizing the Emotional Abuse of Chronic Criticism
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on March 15, 2022 at 4:48 AM

    Live with someone or raised by someone who was always finding fault? Always against something? Always putting you down? The wear and tear of these kinds of emotional abuse is immense...and continuous. See these ten chronic abuses you may not even realize are happening daily!Chronic criticism wears you down, tears you down, and gets you used to being put down. None of those are good things! If you […]

  • 6 Sad Ways Hijackals Abandon You...while you're with them!!!
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on March 8, 2022 at 5:36 AM

    Wonder why you feel so alone even though you're in a relationship? Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult, toxic folks--want to affect you, want to control how you feel. Abandoning you while with you creates a very lonely place. Notice these 6 ways so that you will be able to see them coming and not take them as personally.Hijackals are constantly searching for places to exert power and control. […]

What folks have said…
very knowledgeable
I found Dr. Shaler to be very knowledgeable with many solutions to relationship challenges.
Sal

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