10 Childhood Traumas You Need to Recognize & Recover From
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on April 15, 2021 at 11:46 PM
Ever wonder why you give difficult or toxic people too many chances? Ever wonder why you make a plan to leave, execute it, and end up going back? It happens, and it has a reason...or twelve! Childhood trauma often is recognized when it was obvious. Much of childhood trauma can be subtle and […]
Straight, compassionate talk to help you clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of the relentlessly difficult people I call Hijackals®. Understand what’s really going on within their volatile or passive-aggressive ways.
You particularly need to tune in if you are in any way being abused: devalued, demeaned, dismissed, and discounted verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually.
Then, see the cycles and know your best next steps: what has to change within you, and between you and the Hijackal in order to make good decisions and changes to manage these difficult, toxic–often disturbing–relationships!
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Wonder Why People-Pleasers Attract Emotional Abusers?
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on April 13, 2021 at 3:51 AM
Growing up in an emotionally abusive home, or an overly compassionate home, or even and emotionally neglectful home can set you up to accept emotional abuse. It's not your fault! Maybe, you had a perfectly lovely home, but you were encouraged to put other people's needs, wants, expectations, and desires ahead of your own. That can happen, and you being so giving gets sadly and badly taken […]
Feeling Stuck & Second-Guessing Yourself?
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on April 6, 2021 at 5:18 AM
Yes, you are wise to be self-reflective, asking yourself "What is my part in the relationship difficulties?" #Hijackals and other toxic people want you to taking responsibility for the whole relationship. They are happy to tell you that everything is your fault. You know that. In this episode, I'm addressing the three BIG questions I am asked so frequently when someone gets to the point of […]
MEN: How to Revive a Dormant Sex Life After You've Killed the Connection
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on April 3, 2021 at 8:29 PM
Men, would you like to know what to say when your female partner is really angry? The answer--and many more--are in this episode with GS Youngblood, author of The Masculine in Relationship. He says, "There are so many couples in pain in the world. The man feeling that his partner criticizes and belittles him, and is not interested in sex. The woman dying for more emotional connection, and to feel […]
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on March 30, 2021 at 5:35 AM
All those promises! All those dreams! Was it future faking? That's a very common way that #Hijackals keep you engaged in the relationship. Learn how it works...and, what really doesn't work about it. You need to see this clearly, or you'll be hooked on hope! All you ever wanted and more...one day. That's the promise of future faking: when a Hijackal promises or alludes to giving you something you […]
Renowned Thoracic Surgeon Shares How Doctors Can Increase Empathy & Compassion
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on March 25, 2021 at 8:54 PM
Why is this episode important on a show about toxic relationships? Because your doctor--and other healers--need to be empathetic, aware, interested, listening, and compassionate. Some are wonderful. Others, not so much. You need to find one that cares about all of you, not just the numbers, graphs, and medications. In your toxic relationship, have you ever been seriously ill or injured? What kind […]
7 Unhealthy Patterns You Learn Growing Up in a Narcissistic Family
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on March 23, 2021 at 4:32 AM
You may not even know you picked up all this from narcissistic family dynamics in your life. When you hear these things, you may find the key to unlocking relationship difficulties you've had in your adult life. Definitely worth listening to! We take SO much in as young children, even before we have any language skills at all! We come to know if we're wanted, loved, appreciated, welcomed, and […]
GASLIGHTING: Sneaky Emotional Abuse
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on March 16, 2021 at 5:34 AM
Understanding the many faces of gaslighting helps you see it coming. Then, seeing it for what it is, you can discount it, reject and deny it. In this episode, I help you see ten faces of gaslighting that can help you recognize it for what it is: emotional abuse. The actual definition of gaslighting I like from www.urbandictionary.com is: "an increasing frequency of systematically withholding […]
How Toxic Relationships Can Wear Down Your Body & Ruin Your Health - Guest: Dr. Elizabeth Hughes
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on March 12, 2021 at 4:23 AM
You may think that you're experiencing the natural wear and tear on your health. But, if you're in a toxic relationship, it is making things so much worse! Learn about the most likely ways your body and its immune system can respond to toxic relationships with narcissistic people, or antisocial people. Talk about wear and tear!!! Two things that cause physical health issues (among many) start […]
How to Finally Believe A Hijackal Doesn't Love You
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on March 9, 2021 at 5:32 AM
You want to believe that a Hijackal--a toxic, difficult, perhaps narcissistic person--love you. You SO want to believe it. They don't have much love to give and here's 16 ways to recognize that they aren't giving it to you. An eye-opener! People who love you listen to you. They want to listen to you. And, you want to listen to them. You're interested in each other. Not so with a #Hijackal. The […]
How Hijackals Hook You Into Toxic Relationships
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on March 2, 2021 at 4:41 AM
Hijackals create toxic relationships, and it's important to see the patterns, traits, cycles, and behaviors clearly. That's not easy, but it is necessary. If you've been with a Hijackal or other toxic person for long, you may feel as though you suffer from brain fog. You can't think straight and you're too exhausted to do so anyway. Gain perspective about your situation and best next steps to […]