Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships

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Latest Episode
  • Are You Overcoming Codependence?
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on November 22, 2022 at 6:07 PM

    Good for you! Recognizing codependent self-talk is a super important part of overcoming unhealthy emotional reliance on others...particularly those Hijackal others!!! Reflect on these ten things you may be in the habit of telling yourself, and change your habits to healthier ones. You are […]

Straight, compassionate  talk to help you clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of the relentlessly difficult people I call Hijackals®.  Understand what’s really going on within their volatile or passive-aggressive ways.

You particularly need to tune in if you are in any way being abused: devalued, demeaned, dismissed, and discounted verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually.

Then, see the cycles and know your best next steps: what has to change within you, and between you and the Hijackal in order to make good decisions and changes to manage these difficult, toxic–often disturbing–relationships!

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  • Why You Might Be Afraid to Leave an Emotional Abuser
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on November 15, 2022 at 5:37 AM

    Leaving an emotional abuser is taxing, difficult, and brave. So many considerations! And, if you have children, so many more.When you're with a Hijackal, you can be too trauma-bonded to see your way clearly to dinner time, let alone to see your way to leaving. In this episode, I offer many considerations that can seem first. Breaking them down makes it more apparent what might be […]

  • Is All or Nothing Thinking RUINING Your Relationship?
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on November 8, 2022 at 4:26 AM

    Understanding how "all or nothing" or "black and white" thinking divides your relationship and reduces the possibilities for growing towards each other is EYE-OPENING. It's always lurking in a Hijackal relationship, and being ready to do it differently can be GAME-CHANGING. In this episode, explore the how's and why's, as well as the what-to-do's when this "splitting" occurs. Black & white […]

  • Hooked On HOPE a Hijackal Will Change?
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on November 1, 2022 at 5:39 AM

    You'll be hoping for a very long time, and is that OK with you? If you're giving yourself excuses to take action, hoping a Hijackal will change is often at the top of that list. Listen to the episode to see this all more clearly.. Don't abandon yourself by giving your life over to being hooked on hope! Hooked on hope actually means "addicted to the expectation for something you desire to […]

  • How & Why to STOP ENABLING a Hijackal
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on October 25, 2022 at 3:43 AM

    You are likely anxious, feeling unsafe, angry, and exhausted from life with a relentless difficult Hijackal. Understanding enabling and knowing how to stop--beginning with small ways--is important for your well-being and mental health. You likely never meant to become an enabler. It happens slowly. And, just as slowly, you abandon yourself in favor of meeting the needs and taking responsibility […]

  • Dealing with EMPATHY-DEFICIENT People
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on October 18, 2022 at 4:59 AM

    There's that person who seems incapable--and, also unwilling--to ever put themselves in your shoes, right? Or, that person who doesn't want to hear anything about you and always returns the conversation to themselves? Or, that person who could care less that you are hurting, celebrating, or anything in between? They may be empathy-deficient. I'm sharing some ways to know if that's a pattern, and […]

  • Don't Be Sucked In By Future Faking!
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on October 11, 2022 at 3:47 AM

    "OK, Babe, I promise you the world." But, what about delivery? Learn more about how Hijackals trick you into believing they are GOING TO do something, or WANT the same things you want. It's Future Faking!It's SO important to see the patterns, and sometimes, when you've been worn down and torn down by living in a toxic relationship, you simply don't see them. Future Faking is important to […]

  • BEWARE! Why Hijackals Generalize, Globalize & Gloss Over
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on October 4, 2022 at 3:46 AM

    Hijackals will do whatever they think they need to do to "win" in any moment. Generalizing, globalizing and glossing over information is a strategy--a trick--they use to go for that "win." Once you clearly see it, you will be able to counteract it, but you may not be recognizing it quite yet. This episode will expose the trick and the tactics.Feel bullied in a conversation with a narcissistic […]

  • Working Through the GRIEF & RELIEF of Leaving a Hijackal
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on September 27, 2022 at 5:31 AM

    It can be such a rollercoaster! Whether you're thinking about leaving, or have left, you can run between grief and relief. Knowing how to think it through and work it through makes the journey back to healthy living more possible. Yes, you may be all over the place, AND it's OK. Use these insights and strategies to make it through.Leaving an abusive relationship, healing begins once you've left. […]

  • Going NO CONTACT!
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on September 20, 2022 at 3:36 AM

    Use my "Get to NO Guilt" Strategies in this episode. You often don't get much support for going no contact with the relentlessly difficult people in your world. Folks project their sense of guilt on you. Don't let that sabotage what's best for your well-being! In this episode, It's time to do it!You matter! You need to take good care of yourself, and a Hijackal will never help you do that. That's […]

  • Circular Conversation. Crazy-Making
    by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on August 30, 2022 at 5:39 AM

    So many parallels to being in a blender!. Those conversations that go round and round and get you right back to focusing on the Hijackal. Crazy-Making indeed. Let's recognize those circular, get-us-nowhere-good interactions and know how to exit them somewhat safely.Involved in repeated arguments that never resolve anything? Feel like you're talking to the wall? Is it always your fault? See the […]

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