Narcissistic Folks: Unable Or Unwilling To Empathize?
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on December 1, 2020 at 6:39 AM
Lack of empathy in one partner creates a deficit that the other partner cannot fill...no matter how hard one tries! Learn more about the differences in functioning, and the decisions #Hijackals and other narcissistic people make about demonstrating empathy. Eye-opening! Empathy is the ability to […]
Straight, compassionate talk to help you clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of the relentlessly difficult people I call Hijackals®. Understand what’s really going on within their volatile or passive-aggressive ways.
You particularly need to tune in if you are in any way being abused: devalued, demeaned, dismissed, and discounted verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually.
Then, see the cycles and know your best next steps: what has to change within you, and between you and the Hijackal in order to make good decisions and changes to manage these difficult, toxic–often disturbing–relationships!
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Isolation: A Nasty Tactic of Coercive Control
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on November 24, 2020 at 6:42 AM
When you are first with a #Hijackal, you are flattered that they want you all to themselves. You're delighted that they want to be with you, and "can't get enough of you." That's the normal joy of a new relationship. Then, when you're with a toxic person, a #Hijackal, a #narcissist, there comes a moment when you find yourself isolated, alone, and marginalized. You look around and you have been […]
The Differences Between Well-Formed vs Badly-Formed Love GUEST: Dr. Gary Salyer
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on November 21, 2020 at 9:48 PM
Are you suffering as a result of what Dr. Gary Salyer calls "badly-formed love?" You could be. Suffering is part of it, for sure. And, so much more. Do you know what well-formed love is? Have you seen it when you were growing up, or created it as an adult? Were you comfortable with it? BIG QUESTIONS! Dr. Gary Salyer has been my guest on Save Your Sanity before, and we talked about Trauma-Bonding. […]
Intimidation and Coercive Control: How and Why It's Holding You Hostage - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on November 17, 2020 at 5:48 AM
You're worn, torn, and put down. You're exhausting in every way. The #narcissist, the #Hijackal, see that as an accomplishment. Hijackals are intimidating. They expect you to comply with their wishes, wants, demands, and supposed needs. #Hijackals threaten you. They want to instill fear and make you dependent on them, all the while complaining that you are, right? It's SO important that you […]
Self-Centered, Selfish Or Narcissistic? GUEST: Dr. Laura Dabney
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on November 14, 2020 at 7:37 PM
There can be a razor's edge difference between a self-centered person and a narcissistic one. Does it really matter if you know when you are dealing with them? Dr. Laura Dabney offers her experience as a psychiatrist dealing with some of the most difficult cases in the field. Her insights will help you more deeply understand those differences between a generally self-centered person, and a truly […]
Boomeranging: How To Leave and Stay Gone!
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on November 10, 2020 at 6:13 AM
It's common for folks to desperately find their way to get away from a toxic relationship. Then, the doubts start, as well as the pleading and promises from a toxic spouse. You'll need these helpful insights into how to plan to leave so that you won't give in to the temptation to return. And, if you have left, what to do when you want to go running back to the abuse. Yes, you're leaving a toxic […]
How Differences in Attachment Affect the Wisdom of Staying Together GUEST: Jennifer Lehr
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on November 5, 2020 at 7:05 PM
Wondering why your relationship always seems a bit off? Why you cannot get the emotional intimacy you crave? The Attachment Style you adopted as a result of your early life experiences plays a big part in how you create and relate with others. Knowing your Attachment Style provides you with invaluable insights into how you create relationships, what you expect from them, and where your fears […]
Blame Shifting: Counteracting This Crazy-Making Way Narcissists Try To Win
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on November 3, 2020 at 6:37 AM
Try these strategies and tactics to change the dynamics in your relationship with a #Hijackal when they try to avoid responsibility or accountability, even--and especially--when they feel threatened by a potential flaw of theirs being mentioned. You know that everything will be your fault if you're with a narcissist, a Hijackal. The nasty skill of blame-shifting is a sneaky specialty. they hone […]
Successful Consultant Shares Her Story and Steps To Recovery From Toxic Relationships GUEST: Christie Lawler
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on October 30, 2020 at 6:52 PM
An inspiring story of recovery and success after abuse in a toxic relationship! You'll be motivated by what my guest, Christie Lawler, shares. What she walked through, and went on to create is uplifting and positive. Just what you need to hear today? Probably! Christie Lawler is a successful consultant in what she calls the "eatertainment space." Very clever! She has thrived, but she walked […]
Am I In A Toxic Relationship With A Hijackal? Beware, Hijackals Are Crafty!
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on October 27, 2020 at 5:36 AM
Yes, it's important to recognize the patterns, traits, cycles, and behaviors of the relentlessly difficult people I call #Hijackals®. In this episode, another important feature: what kinds of things you FEEL when you're with a Hijackal. That's so important to take note of because almost all those feelings are not good ones, right? Toxicity is poisonous! In fact, that is part of the very […]
The Fastest Ways to Counteract Parental Alienation GUEST: Joseph Goldberg
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD on October 23, 2020 at 3:48 AM
When you realized your divorce was going to be difficult, I'll bet you worried about your ex talking badly about you to the children, trying to win them over. Did you? Did you worry about the children being lied to about you?Did you ex tell the children s/he was the better parent, the one who gave them more, etc.? This leads to Parental Alienation. Here's part of the definition of Parental […]