Emotional abuse is when one person Usually or frequently engages in behaviors to control another person by:
- criticizing
- embarrassing
- manipulating
- shaming
- blaming
- discounting
- dismissing
- depriving
- denying
- controlling
...their rights, needs, wants, thoughts, feelings AND equality.
Unfortunately, many people do not recognize emotional abuse.
Perhaps, they are used to it from a difficult childhood, and think it is love. NO! It isn’t. It’s abuse.
Yes, it’s difficult to admit–even to yourself–that you are being emotionally abused.
Maybe, you are sufficiently trauma-bonded to even have sympathy for your abuser. That’s a big red flag that you need to see the emotional abuse for what it is, and take steps to stop tolerating it.
It also can be difficult to redefine the parent or partner who is perpetrating the emotional abuse as abusive. You don’t want to think of them that way, or you care more about their reputation than your own emotional safety.
Those can be tough words to hear.
Emotional abuse becomes a way of life that you manage within, all the while trying to do everything the abuser wants.
You think that will make them happy, secure, stable, and kind. It won’t. Emotional abusers are seldom interested in changing themselves because they have a NEED to control. (Sorry. The most likely change is that they get worse.)
Recognize the many sneaky and obvious ways that you may being emotionally abused. On Dr. Shaler’s Save Your Sanity podcast and YouTube channel, there’s so much for you. We hope you’ll listen, watch, recognize, and know that NO ONE has the right to abuse you.
Gain insights, skills, and strategies to help you say NO! to further emotional abuse. Please start today. You deserve to live without abuse!
Emotional Abuse often feels like:
- āI canāt put my finger on whatās wrong anymore and feel like I am going crazy.ā
- āI feel like I have to live on high alert. I donāt know whatās coming next.ā
- āNothing I do is right or good enough.ā
- āItās always my faultā¦even when it isnāt.ā
- āI am confused all the time, things are unpredictably awesome or horrible, and nowhere in between.ā
- āIām tired of the silent treatment.ā
- āSometimes I think my partner really hates me.ā
- āIām concerned for my children, what theyāre seeing and hearing.ā
- āIām so tired of the drama, the outbursts, the attacks, and the cycles.ā
- āShould I stay or should I go?ā
- āCan this relationship ever get better?āĀ
- Are you tired of everything being your fault?
- Is home somewhere you avoid because it doesn't feel safe?
- Do you feel like you're walking on eggshells and can't be yourself?
- Are you caught in a cycle of feeling overwhelmed and unable to make decisions, constantly second-guessing yourself?
Here are a collection of my popular podcast episodes and blog posts that may give you some deeper insight into what you’re experiencing right now.
When Is It A Rough Patch and When Is It Abuse? Recognize abuse!
No one likes to think of themselves as being abused, especially in an adult relationship. It’s time to know how
How You Are Manipulated By a Narcissist’s Voice
Whether you have a Hijackal parent, partner, sibling, or other of the narcissistic variety, knowing how they manipulate you with
2 Crazy-Making Patterns Hijackals Use to Confuse
How do Hijackals make you second-guess yourself and question your sanity? Basic to them doing that is the two patterns
Living With Emotional Abuse
Sometimes, it’s hard to see emotional abuse when it’s happening. Sometimes, you were young and thought it was normal. What
Getting Off A High-Conflict Emotional Roller Coaster
Is your relationship usually a high conflict roller coaster ride? If it’s always spills and thrills, peaks and valleys, you
How Narcissistic Parents Damage Their Children
Learn about the effects the “upside down parenting” of narcissists and other Hijackals can have on your adult life and
How Hijackals Succeed at Emotional Blackmail
Hijackals are good at emotional blackmail. They are experts at the “Gotcha!” And, they constantly use it to their advantage.
RECOGNIZING THE MANIPULATION OF TRIANGULATION
Clearly see how narcissistic people try to control information flow by going through other people, their desired “flying monkeys.” Are
Providing urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis was Dr. Shaler’sĀ mission. For over 30 years, she offered the insights, information, and inspiration for clients and audiences to transform relationship with themselves and other humans to be honest, respectful, and safe in all ways. Ā Even the United States Marines have sought her help!Ā
Her focus in the last decade was toward helping the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls HijackalsĀ® to stop the crazy-making and save their sanity.
Author of sixteen books, including her Hijackal ebook series, Escaping the Hijackal Trap, and, Stop! Thatās Crazy-Making,Ā Dr. ShalerĀ hosted the popular podcast,Ā Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships.Ā
