Emotional abuse is when one person Usually or frequently engages in behaviors to control another person by:
- criticizing
- embarrassing
- manipulating
- shaming
- blaming
- discounting
- dismissing
- depriving
- denying
- controlling
...their rights, needs, wants, thoughts, feelings AND equality.
Unfortunately, many people do not recognize emotional abuse.
Perhaps, they are used to it from a difficult childhood, and think it is love. NO! It isn’t. It’s abuse.
Yes, it’s difficult to admit–even to yourself–that you are being emotionally abused.
Maybe, you are sufficiently trauma-bonded to even have sympathy for your abuser. That’s a big red flag that you need to see the emotional abuse for what it is, and take steps to stop tolerating it.
It also can be difficult to redefine the parent or partner who is perpetrating the emotional abuse as abusive. You don’t want to think of them that way, or you care more about their reputation than your own emotional safety.
I know those are tough words to hear.
Emotional abuse becomes a way of life that you manage within, all the while trying to do everything the abuser wants.
You think that will make them happy, secure, stable, and kind. It won’t. Emotional abusers are seldom interested in changing themselves because they have a NEED to control. (Sorry. The most likely change is that they get worse.)
Recognize the many sneaky and obvious ways that you may being emotionally abused. On my Save Your Sanity podcast and my YouTube channel, there’s so much for you. I hope you’ll listen, watch, recognize, and know that NO ONE has the right to abuse you.
I’m here to help you gain insights, skills, and strategies to help you say NO! to further emotional abuse. Please start today. You deserve to live without abuse!
Emotional Abuse often feels like:
- “I can’t put my finger on what’s wrong anymore and feel like I am going crazy.”
- “I feel like I have to live on high alert. I don’t know what’s coming next.”
- “Nothing I do is right or good enough.“
- “It’s always my fault…even when it isn’t.”
- “I am confused all the time, things are unpredictably awesome or horrible, and nowhere in between.”
- “I’m tired of the silent treatment.”
- “Sometimes I think my partner really hates me.”
- “I’m concerned for my children, what they’re seeing and hearing.”
- “I’m so tired of the drama, the outbursts, the attacks, and the cycles.”
- “Should I stay or should I go?”
- “Can this relationship ever get better?”
- Are you tired of everything being your fault?
- Is home somewhere you avoid because it doesn't feel safe?
- Do you feel like you're walking on eggshells and can't be yourself?
- Are you caught in a cycle of feeling overwhelmed and unable to make decisions, constantly second-guessing yourself?
Here are a collection of my popular podcast episodes and blog posts that may give you some deeper insight into what you’re experiencing right now.
When Is It A Rough Patch and When Is It Abuse? Recognize abuse!
No one likes to think of themselves as being abused, especially in an adult relationship. It’s time to know how
How You Are Manipulated By a Narcissist’s Voice
Whether you have a Hijackal parent, partner, sibling, or other of the narcissistic variety, knowing how they manipulate you with
2 Crazy-Making Patterns Hijackals Use to Confuse
How do Hijackals make you second-guess yourself and question your sanity? Basic to them doing that is the two patterns
Living With Emotional Abuse
Sometimes, it’s hard to see emotional abuse when it’s happening. Sometimes, you were young and thought it was normal. What
Getting Off A High-Conflict Emotional Roller Coaster
Is your relationship usually a high conflict roller coaster ride? If it’s always spills and thrills, peaks and valleys, you
How Narcissistic Parents Damage Their Children
Learn about the effects the “upside down parenting” of narcissists and other Hijackals can have on your adult life and
How Hijackals Succeed at Emotional Blackmail
Hijackals are good at emotional blackmail. They are experts at the “Gotcha!” And, they constantly use it to their advantage.
RECOGNIZING THE MANIPULATION OF TRIANGULATION
Clearly see how narcissistic people try to control information flow by going through other people, their desired “flying monkeys.” Are
EMOTIONAL ABUSE: The High Cost of Enabling a Narcissistic Hijackal
There can be significant and damaging results to enabling a narcissist that you don’t want to stay blind to. You
I can help
I provide urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. My mission is to provide the insights, information, and inspiration for clients and audiences to transform relationship with themselves and other humans to be honest, respectful, and safe in all ways. Even the United States Marines have sought my help!
I focus on helping the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls Hijackals® to stop the crazy-making and save their sanity.
Author of sixteen books, including her Hijackal ebook series, Escaping the Hijackal Trap, and, Stop! That’s Crazy-Making, Dr. Shaler is the host of the popular podcast, Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships.
Work with me privately
Working one-on-one with me, you will gain clarity, insight and strength to really look at your relationship.
Sometimes that deep look will show you that you have changes to make yourself, or that you need to accept certain realities… or that it’s time to make some of the hard decisions you’ve been avoiding.
Join my online community
A safe place among peers, who have been or are in a relationship with a Hijackal–a toxic person–and know what you’re going through.
If the Hijackal is someone you HAVE to communicate and spend time with, or are not ready to release from your life–this is the right place to get support.
