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Are you in a toxic relationship? Are you tired of being angry about it? Tired of living with resentment? Exhausted by the constant drama?

I empower people to see and stop tolerating emotional abuse, and reclaim their lives.

Get the skills, strategies, and support to stop the crazy-making and save your sanity here.

Relationship Help Podcasts.

Relationship Help Podcasts.

I'm delighted to share my podcasts - there are plenty of episodes for you! Subscribe via your favourite app - Apple Podcasts, Overcast,, Stitcher, Tune-in and more!

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Learn what you need to know

Learn what you need to know

Take my eCourse NOW...Learn to quickly recognize the red flags of crazy-making relationships. Understand what is NOT YOUR FAULT and how to keep your sanity when you can't avoid them.

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Connect with others who have Hijackals.

Connect with others who have Hijackals.

Knowing you're not the only person on the planet who is in a crazy-making relationship can be very reassuring. You are NOT crazy. It's them, not you. Join us and get the support of others.

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What’s going on in your relationship? Do these things feel familiar?

“I can’t put my finger on what’s wrong anymore and feel like I am going crazy.”

“Nothing I do is right or good enough.

“It’s always my fault…even when it isn’t.”

“I’m so tired of the drama, the outbursts, the attacks, and the cycles.”

I know it’s very debilitating to feel like you never do it “right”, or well enough. When every time you become hopeful that you can find honesty and safety, you are taking a risk that seldom turns out to improve communication, or resolve conflicts.

I know because I’ve lived through it, too.

It leaves  you feeling exhausted,  anxious, and uncertain. Unfortunately, you might also feel guilty, like you just didn’t do enough, give enough, or be enough. And, that’s not true! 

Whether you want freedom IN, or freedom FROM, your toxic relationship, we can work together to get clarity on your next best steps!

I’m Dr. Rhoberta Shaler. I want to help you to stop the seemingly endless cycle of conflicts, miscommunications, crazy-making habits, alienation, and constant drama.

You’re in the right place for toxic relationship help (and, from wherever you are in the world, through video conferencing!)

“The help and information you share makes me feel I can breathe again. I am not alone in this. Thank you.”

“Thank you, Dr Shaler, for your work and your writings. You may have no idea just how much of a lifeline I have been thrown just by finding you.”

“My partner offered me your video. It all makes sense to me right now. Oh my god! your video is incredible and enlightening.. i feel secure again within myself.”

“Thank you for giving us back the relationship we believed we had, but lost along the way. Ever grateful.” 

Not therapy. Not counseling. Straight-up consulting with effective insights, strategies and skills to help your relationships!

If you have a relentlessly difficult partner, ex, parent, or co-worker—I call them Hijackals®— I can help you stop the crazy-making and save your sanity. I’ve had them, too, and I have both the experience and expertise to see what’s really going on!

For example, if you are constantly walking on eggshells, never sure, or comfortable about what to say or do next to avoid high conflict and blame… that needs to stop. I can help. 

Healing takes time. You’ve taken the first step:

And now you’re here. This is the right place for relationship help.

Are you experiencing anything like these in your relationship?

Do you feel constantly manipulated by the person who is supposed to love you the most? Like no matter what you do, your partner is always critical and unhappy with you? This experience feels deeply lonely and isolated.

Are you accepting blame for things that are not your fault?

Are you trying to please someone who makes it a point to never be pleased?

Are you often feeling attacked as a parent or co-parent? Are your kids are pawns in the middle of your relationship? That can cause you to feel frequently betrayed, or, like an outsider in your own family.

In situations like this, there is no equality, reciprocity, or mutuality. That’s unhealthy. Those are absolutely necessary ingredients for a healthy relationship!

If you could fix it on your own, you would have by now, right? It’s time to come for relationship help. 

Does your partner make everything your fault?
Does your partner refuse to take responsibility for any part in the relationship?
Do you feel as though your partner does not care about what you think, feel, need, or want?
Or worse, does s/he try to tell you what you should think or feel? To define your reality?

It’s time for relationship help, for sure.

Let’s talk soon.

You are in the right place for toxic relationship help, just like these folks:

I want to thank you for your work – I have come across it on Youtube while searching for how to respond to PA behaviour.
I have ordered and read your “Stop – that’s crazy making”, “Escaping the Hijackal trap”, “The Hijackal trap” and now I am reading “Kaizen for couples”.
Your work has really helped me see what is going on in my relationship with my partner.
I can’t afford individual therapy at the moment (I plan to do it), but I am in Al-Anon which also helps a lot.
I have set some boundries – for labeling and namecalling and they really help me to be more confident.
I however can’t find a way to be assertive when it comes to unloving behaviour. Example: I sing a funny song and say: “It was a funny song and I sang it well didn’t I’” and my partner says: “No…sorry I was not listening” (although he was standing next to me).
It infuriates me because I feel it is a power game and of course he doesn’t take responsibility for it.
 Please can you recomend some material for me to learn to respond assertively with this kind of behaviour.
Thank you very much and all the best to you!

V.Eastern Europe

Strong people get help.

Other people think they don’t deserve better, and give their power away instead.

I hope that won’t be you.

Get the relationship help, the guidance, skills, strategies, and support you need
to move in healthy directions, right away.

Schedule an introductory session
– just $97 for your first hour –
if you’re ready to start making meaningful changes to your relationship dynamic.


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