Relationship Difficulties? Too much conflict? Can't talk well or solve problems? Want help?

Get the personalized perspective, insights, skills, strategies, and support you need to stop the crazy-making here.

Weekly podcast for helpful advice

Weekly podcast for helpful advice

Listen in at Tuesdays at 6pm Pacific or subscribe on your favourite podcast app! Available on iTunes, Overcast and more!

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Ready to Do the Hard Work?

Ready to Do the Hard Work?

When you know your relationship's in trouble and something's gotta change, take responsibility and start working toward your next best steps.

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Hijackals Hurt. Learn how to spot them.

Hijackals Hurt. Learn how to spot them.

Start with my free ebook, then read my blog and watch some videos. Get up to speed on how to Spot a Hijackal from miles away.

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I’m Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.  As a relationship consultant and mediator, I help my clients to stop the seemingly endless cycle of conflicts, miscommunications, crazy-making habits, and constant drama in their relationships.

Not therapy. Not counseling. Straight-up consulting with direct questions and answers!

If you have a relentlessly difficult partner, ex, parent, or co-worker–I call them “Hijackals®, I can help you stop the crazy-making and save your sanity!

Are you walking on eggshells, never sure, or comfortable about what to say or do next to avoid high conflict and blame? You can relax, now.

Let’s talk soon.

You are in the right place for relationship help, just like these folks:

“The help and information you share makes me feel I can breathe again. I am not alone in this. Thank you.”

“Thank you, Dr Shaler, for your work and your writings. You may have no idea just how much of a lifeline I have been thrown just by finding you.”
“My partner offered me your video. It all makes sense to me right now. Oh my god! your video is incredible and enlightening.. i feel secure again within myself.”

“Thank you for giving us back the relationship we believed we had, but lost along the way. Ever grateful.” 

What’s going on in your relationship? Do these things feel familiar?

“I can’t put my finger on what’s wrong anymore and feel like I am going crazy.”

“Nothing I do is right or good enough.

“It’s always my fault…even when it isn’t.”

“I’m so tired of the drama, the outbursts, the attacks, and the cycles.”

I know it’s very debilitating to feel like you never do it “right”, or well enough. That every time you become hopeful that you can find honesty and safety, you are taking a risk that seldom turns out to improve communication, or resolve conflicts. I know because I’ve lived through it, too.

It leaves  you feeling exhausted,  anxious, and uncertain. Unfortunately, you might also feel guilty, like you just didn’t do enough, give enough, or be enough. And, that’s not true! 

Do you feel constantly manipulated by the person who is supposed to love you the most? Like no matter what you do, your partner is always critical and unhappy with you? This experience feels deeply lonely and isolated.

Are you accepting blame for things that are not your fault?

Are you trying to please someone who makes it a point to never be pleased?

Are you often feeling attacked as a parent or co-parent? Are your kids are pawns in the middle of your relationship? That can cause you to feel frequently betrayed, or, like an outsider in your own family.

In situations like this, you cannot win….and there is no mutuality.

That’s an absolutely necessary ingredient for a healthy relationship! You know it’s time for relationship help. If you could fix it on your own, you would have by now, right?

The person you struggle with most can be so afraid of being wrong that the blame is always on you. Incapable of self-reflection and lacking in empathy, s/he makes sure you will always be the target.  This is true whether it’s with your spouse, your co-worker, boss or your mother.

The most important thing to know is healing takes time and you’ve taken the first step: You’re here. This is the right place for relationship help.

Are you experiencing anything like these in your relationship?


Strong people get help.

Other people think they don’t deserve better, and give their power away instead.

I hope that won’t be you.

I’m here for relationship help, the guidance, skills, strategies, and support you need to move in healthy directions, right away.