I'm Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor. As a relationship consultant and educator, I help my clients to escape the endless cycle of crazy-making behaviors, alienation, and constant drama in troubling relationships.
If you have a relentlessly difficult partner, ex, parent, or co-worker--I call them "Hijackals™, I can help you save your sanity!
Are you walking on eggshells, never sure, or comfortable about what to say or do next to avoid high conflict and blame?
You can relax, now.
Let's talk soon.
What's going on in your relationship? Do these things feel familiar?
"I can't put my finger on what's wrong anymore and feel like I am going crazy."
"Nothing I do is right or good enough."
"It's always my fault...even when it isn't."
"I'm so tired of the drama, the outbursts, the attacks, and the cycles."
I know it's very debilitating to feel like you never do it "right", or well enough. That every time you become hopeful that you can find honesty and safety, you are taking a risk that seldom turns out to improve communication, or resolve conflicts. I know because I've lived through it, too.
It leaves you feeling exhausted, anxious, and uncertain. Unfortunately, you might also feel guilty, like you just didn't do enough, give enough, or be enough. And, that's not true!
Do you feel constantly manipulated by the person who is supposed to love you the most? Like no matter what you do, your partner is always critical and unhappy with you? This experience feels deeply lonely and isolated.
Are you accepting blame for things that are not your fault?
Are you trying to please someone who makes it a point to never be pleased?
Are you often feeling attacked as a parent or co-parent? Are your kids are pawns in the middle of your relationship? That can cause you to feel frequently betrayed, or, like an outsider in your own family.
In situations like this, you cannot win....and there is no mutuality. That's an absolutely necessary ingredient for a healthy relationship! You know it's time for relationship help. If you could fix it on your own, you would have by now, right?
The person you struggle with most can be so afraid of being wrong that the blame is always on you. Incapable of self-reflection and lacking in empathy, s/he makes sure you will always be the target. This is true whether it's with your spouse, your co-worker, boss or your mother.
The most important thing to know is healing takes time and you've taken the first step: You're here. This is the right place for relationship help.
Are you experiencing anything like these in your relationship?