High Conflict Co-Parenting Strategies

High Conflict co-parenting is stressful.  When your ex is a Hijackal®, you need specific strategies to keep conflict away from the children.

Don’t take your divorce out on your kids! High-conflict co-parenting strategies are essential to learn and use to protect your children from unnecessary emotional conflict.

When a relationship involving a high-conflict person ends, make sure the children are protected from manipulation, emotional turmoil, and alienation.

CoParenting needs to focus on the CHILDREN, not the parentsChildren in a high-conflict divorce must not become pawns, possessions, or messengers!  You MUST do all you can to prevent any animosity, conflict, blame, or bad will from affecting what is truly in the best interests of the children emotional and psychological development.


High-conflict co-parenting takes significant cooperation, commitment and self-discipline on the part of BOTH parents – no matter which is the high-conflict person. And, it takes wisdom, insight, and willingness to see the forest for the trees on behalf of others involved in the conflict, including attorneys, counselors, coaches, therapists, judges, and commissioners.

Are you co-parenting or parallel parenting?

These are terms used to describe approaches to doing what is in the daily best interests of the children when parents are separated or divorced. 


“An arrangement in a divorce or separation by which parents share legal and physical custody of a child or children”

“A parenting situation where the parents are not in a marriage, cohabitation or romantic relationship with one another”


“Parallel Parenting is a form of joint child custody order in which authority transfers from parent to parent as the children are exchanged. Each parent is in charge of the decisions regarding the children when the children are in their care. Parallel parenting gives both parents the opportunity to be involved in their children’s lives. A parallel parenting regime can be employed where there is high parental conflict, and where a sole custody order is not in the child’s best interests. Parallel parenting ensures that both parents play an active and fruitful role in the life of their child while removing sources of conflict through a structured and comprehensive parenting plan.”

” Parallel parenting is more characteristic of parents in a dysfunctional relationship dynamic. Parallel parenting manifests when there is an insufficient degree of cooperation, communication, compromise, or consistency to carry out co-parenting.”   Michael Scott

High-Conflict Co-Parenting Strategies provide the communication, negotiation, and conflict management skills you need to reduce anxiety, increase confidence, and improve your ability to face on-going conversations with your ex.

Having Trouble Co-Parenting with Your Ex?  I can help.  

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler - Hijackal EXPERT - headshot
I’m Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor, and author of Escaping the Hijackal Trap: The Truth About Hijackals & Why They’re Crazy-Making, your guide for loving, living with, or leaving a high-conflict person, a Hijackal.  

Working with the partners of high-conflict people is my specialty. I can help you stop questioning your sanity, stop second-guessing yourself, and get on the road to recovery as quickly as possible, while providing the best high-conflict co-parenting strategies to keep your children safe. 

Co-parenting after divorce is already a challenging road. It is definitely more difficult with a high-conflict co-parent! Courts often mandate parents to take a High-Conflict Co-Parenting course. I teach them in my office to meet requirements of the Superior Court of California. Often, courts in other states and countries insist, or prefer, that you take an in-person program.

When you have been in a relationship with a high conflict person and are divorced, separated or co-parenting, AND you cannot or do not want to communicate with each other, you may need the skills of Parallel Parenting HERE.  This will include making a parenting plan agreement to facilitate easier parenting in the best interests of the children. I can facilitate and mediate agreements with you and your ex through sessions using Zoom video.  You never have to be in the same room as your ex to do this. A good thing, right?

Need help to sort things out?

I’ll help you learn and practice the high-conflict co-parenting strategies. I can help you see through, think through, and work through your relationship with a high-conflict ex. I invite you to book an Introductory Session, and let’s talk about your situation. Let’s solve issues and get moving in healthier directions (for you and your children) as soon as possible.

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