Oh, we all like to be right, don’t we?
Even if we keep the smug “I told you so” to ourselves, we like being right. We need relationship help for sure when things deteriorate in your relationship to just wanting to be right. In a recent Emerging Empowered group sesssion, this came up when a participant said,
“Why can’t they just see I’m right in the first place and come to depend on that? Why does it take them so long to admit I’m right?”
Wow, what a loaded question! First of all, that person firmly believed they were right so there was really no room for discussion. They were just humoring their partner by even considering to discuss it, it seemed. Then, they expanded it to suggest that they are always right. And, then, to make it even less helpful, they suggested their partner does not deserve time to think about things. Big issues here.
If you have a need to be right, you’ve got some work to do! None of us are right all the time. That’s for sure. But, many of us are raised to be perfectionistic, and that requires thinking that we CAN and, perhaps, should be right all the time. For those folks, like myself, who were brought up that good enough was not good enough, we have the opportunity of becoming more realistic about life and a little easier on ourselves. The person in my class really needs to be able to be wrong sometimes and not think the world is going to fall down around their ears…permanently.
The relationship help they needs at this time is to be able to listen to their partner’s point of view with an open mind. When your mind is filled with being right, it’s awfully hard to let anything else in. So, a few helpful thoughts:
- Take a breath, let it out slowly through the mouth, to bring yourself to the present moment.
- Make the time to listen.
- Look for commonalities in your thinking rather than differences.
Remember, there are a lot of places along the way between the extremes of right and wrong. I hope your relationship is more important than being right!
NOTE: If you are looking for relationship help, let’s talk. Wherever you are, we can meet through Skype audio or video, so geography doesn’t matter. You can book an appointment with me by CLICKING HERE.
