Oops! Are You Enabling A Narcissist? Steps to Stopping

You may not realize what counts as enabling when dealing with a relentlessly difficult person, a Hijackal®. Gain some clarity and insights into good steps to take to stop enabling now. Because you are good, kind, compassionate, or pleasing person, you may not realize the ways in which you are enabling a narcissist to continue […]


reactive abuse

How Emotional Abusers Push You To It, Blame You For It & Shame You With It! Do you ever wonder if you’re the problem in a relationship when you know that the other person is forever pushing your buttons, blaming and shaming you? You may be suffering from “Reactive Abuse,” and that’s a cycle that […]

Wonder Why People-Pleasers Attract Emotional Abusers?

25 WAYS: When You Know Them, You Can Change Them! Growing up in an emotionally abusive home, or an overly compassionate home, or even and emotionally neglectful home can set you up to accept emotional abuse. It’s not your fault! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: Insights into the effects of your childhood on your current relationships […]

Recognizing The Impact of Shame in Toxic Relationships

the shame in toxic relationships with beverly engel & dr rhoberta shaler

You might never have thought about the possible elements of shame in toxic relationships. This is something that likely both you and the #Hijackal are experiencing. No, there’s no excuse for the abuse, but this episode will help you understand a deep dynamic in these relationships. Important to know! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: Differences between […]

How Being Afraid To Call It Abuse Can Keep You Stuck In It

Nice people often go the extra mile to excuse abusive behaviors in toxic relationships. Dangerous! We all can have a bad moment, or even a bad day. BUT, do you rationalize, justify, and make excuses for the consistently bad behavior of someone towards you? That’s a problem. No matter who it is in your life–parent, […]

Are Your Boundaries Secure, Or Too Porous To Keep You Safe?


Are your boundaries secure or about as porous as a flow-through tea bag?  Boundaries. You know you need them to define yourself. You know you need them to draw a line in the sand with a #Hijackal, or any person wanting to roll on over you. You know they can keep you safe. You may […]

Feeling Stuck With A Hijackal? Shift Your Thinking With These Tips!

Sometimes, you can feel SO stuck! The Hijackal–that relentless difficult toxic person–looms over your thinking, and keeps you in the shadow of fear. As I’ve said on Save Your Sanity, walking on eggshells is not a good way to get your exercise. Notice if you’re still doing that, and let’s change it! Even if it […]

Am I In A Toxic Relationship With A Hijackal? Beware, Hijackals Are Crafty!

Often I talk about the patterns, traits, cycles, and behaviors of difficult, toxic people. In this episode, I talk about how you feel when you have a #Hijackal in your life. Ever feel as though your life has been invaded? Listen in for more. Yes, it’s important to recognize the patterns, traits, cycles, and behaviors […]