Beware of Introjection & Projection!

You may not know these terms but you know the undercutting feeling one produces, and the scramble the other does! Very important to recognize and say no to! Listen in. Hijackals–people with narcissistic, borderline, passive-aggressive, anti-social traits–play to win. Only to win. They cannot and will not tolerate blame or shame to touch them and […]

Repeating The Same Fight? It’s Not About What You Think It’s About!

repeating the same fight

Most couples have “that” fight, over and over. It’s the one thing that never gets resolved. The one thing that doesn’t change. One, or both of you, think it should. But nothing changes. Are you repeating the same fight? Know this for sure: the fight is not about what you think it is about!  And, […]

Why Power is the Enemy of Love

Power in relationships can be a very difficult and disturbing issue. Of course, if you have a Hijackal parent, partner, sibling, or adult child, you’re well aware of that! This episode will give you new insights into solving ever-arising issues! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE: 6 Signs Power Problems are Poisoning Your Relationship The smartest thing […]

Relationship Help: Co-Existing, Co-Operating or Collaborating?

Co-existing? Co-operating? Collaborating? Which is it generally in your relationship? It’s important to contemplate these distinctions because they make all the difference in the viability and the vitality of your relationship. You can look the words up in a dictionary and you’ll find there is little distinction, but in terms of relationship help, there are […]

How to Deal With Passive Aggressive People

learn how to deal with passive aggressive people

If you have a person in your life who confuses you regularly with their consistently inconsistent behavior, you may be in relationship with a passive-aggressive person. That can be crazy-making. This post will help you respond in healthy ways…and help you keep your sanity!

Relieving the Mess of Chronic Stress in Toxic Relationships GUEST: Dr. Ganz Ferrance

chronic stress

How and Why You Need to Clear Your Head When Chronic Stress and Anxiety Cloud Your Thinking. Chronic stress can lead to chronic illness. Don’t let that happen to you. Listen today! In today’s episode, DR. RHOBERTA SHALER talks about ‘Clearing Your Head When Chronic Stress and Anxiety Have Clouded Your Thinking.’ HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: What […]

Love, Dump, Or…? What About Radical Acceptance?

GUEST: Andrea Miller, CEO of, author of Radical Acceptance DR. RHOBERTA SHALER: How Do You Create and Experience Acceptance in Your LIfe? You want to be seen, heard, known, acknowledged, appreciated, and accepted in life. By your parents. By your partner. By others in your world. Not everyone is willing or capable of doing that. I’ve written […]

Angry with a Hijackal? Why Payback Won’t Work

all your fault what's happening.

Hijackal behavior is outrageous, and it gets your blood boiling too often, right? They are like vampires, draining your blood. And, you just want to show ’em how it feels. And, you want them to see how much they hurt you. And, truth be told, you want them to hurt the way you are hurt. So, […]

Is Name-Calling Ever OK?

Hijackals never stop finding fault and demanding control and power

IS NAME-CALLING EVER OK? EVEN IN AN ARGUMENT? You lose it. You’re angry, out of control, and maybe, even a little out of your mind. You want to win. You want to be heard. You want to be acknowledged. You want to feel validated. So, some words you hate hearing from others come bellowing out […]

Relationship Help: S/he Who Won’t Be Pleased!

Have you ever lived with, or worked with or for, S/he Who Won’t Be Pleased? No matter how much attention, time or effort you give something, it is not good enough. No matter how much you offer, you are discounted for not offering more, or for not offering something different. Relationship problems result. Does it […]