Hooked On HOPE a Hijackal Will Change?

You’ll be hoping for a very long time, and is that OK with you? If you’re giving yourself excuses to take action, hoping a Hijackal will change is often at the top of that list. Listen to the episode to see this all more clearly..┬áDon’t abandon yourself by giving your life over to being hooked on hope!

Hooked on hope actually means “addicted to the expectation for something you desire to happen.” That might help you see the problem.


  • Why there is little hope a Hijackal will change
  • Why the change required is to be the one who is changing
  • Why you may think it’s best to “not give up on the relationship”
  • Love-bombing vs. real, healthy love

I’m here to help. Let’s talk soon.



In this episode of the “Save Your Sanity” podcast, I discuss the concept of being “hooked on hope” in relationships with toxic people, particularly those with narcissistic tendencies. I want to share with you some insights from our conversation and my personal perspective.

Let’s start by acknowledging that Hijackals have a way of luring their victims into relationships through love bombing and making them feel special. However, once the relationship becomes more permanent, the love bombing stops, and the true colors of the Hijackal begin to show.

Now, here’s the thing: despite the warning signs and red flags, many victims remain “hooked on hope.” We cling to the belief that the Hijackal will change and go back to the way things were in the beginning. But the truth is, that hope is often misplaced, and it’s crucial for us to recognize the reality of the situation.

I want to stress that this pattern of hoping for change can stem from various reasons. Some of us may be addicted to love, yearning for affection, or drawn to drama. Others might have grown up with a Hijackal parent, making the unhealthy relationship seem familiar and comfortable. Whatever the reason, it’s vital to understand that the Hijackal is unlikely to change.

Instead of continuing to invest hope in the Hijackal’s transformation, it’s time to shift our focus. Let’s redirect our energy towards our own personal growth and establishing healthy relationships based on equality, reciprocity, and mutuality. We deserve better, and we have the power to break free from toxic relationships.

Remember, when we’re starved for love and affection, even a tiny bit of it can feel like a feast. But it’s time to wake up and realize that we’re chasing after something that simply isn’t available. Seek support from trusted friends or professionals who can provide guidance and help us on our journey to healing.

Ultimately, this podcast episode serves as a reminder that breaking free from toxic relationships is possible, and we can reclaim our sanity. So, let’s prioritize our emotional well-being, recognize the signs, and focus on ourselves instead of holding onto false hope.

If you resonate with what we discussed, I offer one-on-one sessions and a group program to support those who are ready to make changes and break free from their Hijackal. Additionally, I provide free checklists and a newsletter as valuable resources for those navigating relationships with Hijackals.

Your support, whether through a one-time or monthly donation, is greatly appreciated as it enables us to continue this important work. Together, we can create awareness, promote emotional health and safety, and empower individuals to emerge stronger from these challenging situations.

In summary, I want to emphasize the significance of taking care of ourselves in toxic relationships, recognizing red flags, and prioritizing our emotional well-being. Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources available to support you on your journey.


Other episodes and articles on this topic that you might find useful:

The Hijackal Haze: How Hormones Keep You Hooked on Hijackals and Hope

10 Things You Will NEVER Get From a Hijackal Human


Image Credit: Midjourney, prompt by Kera McHugh

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