How To Keep A Hijackal From Tearing You Down

gaslighting is emotional abuse. "it is intended to make you forget who you are and accept another person's view of your reality"

Hijackals–passive-aggressive. narcissistic. anti-social folks–thrive on tearing you down. Sometimes, it’s a slow picking at you. Sometimes, it’s a constant beratement. Either way, you need to stop it from getting into your head and under your skin. And, if it’s already there, I’ll help you get it out. Listen in. Hijackals–my word for people who hijack […]


Setting Boundaries. Calibrating Results. Making Decisions. No matter what the Hijackal thinks they are entitled to you need to set, express, and hold boundaries. In this episode, I’ll give you effective ways to begin, or continue, setting clear boundaries and staying strong. Oh, and, what to do when those Hijackals trample them, too! HIGHLIGHTS OF […]

Oops! Are You Enabling A Narcissist? Steps to Stopping

You may not realize what counts as enabling when dealing with a relentlessly difficult person, a Hijackal®. Gain some clarity and insights into good steps to take to stop enabling now. Because you are good, kind, compassionate, or pleasing person, you may not realize the ways in which you are enabling a narcissist to continue […]

Are Your Boundaries Secure, Or Too Porous To Keep You Safe?


Are your boundaries secure or about as porous as a flow-through tea bag?  Boundaries. You know you need them to define yourself. You know you need them to draw a line in the sand with a #Hijackal, or any person wanting to roll on over you. You know they can keep you safe. You may […]

Why Too Few Boundaries Allow Too Much Drama


Setting boundaries in the face of difficult people can be daunting, I know. It’s especially difficult if you had a difficult Hijackal parent! Get a deeper understanding of what you need to do this, and how to do it powerfully today.   Transcript (mostly done by machine, apologies in advance) We’re going to talk about […]

Have You Given Up Your Boundaries? | Self-Strengthening

When you are in a relationship with a chronically difficult person, aka a Hijackal•, you have likely given up on expressing your boundaries. Unfortunately, that’s the truth. Over time, Hijackals both tear you down and wear you down. At the beginning, perhaps, you were more clear about what’s OK with you and what’s not. In […]

Difficult People At Work Make You Want to Stay Home

difficult people at work

Hijackals®, aka chronically difficult people at work, can create a daily hell when you have to interact with them. How do they show up and what can you do with them? A few weeks ago, my colleague and friend, Robert Imbriale, invited me to talk about my term, Hijackals–those chronically difficult people at work–on his […]

Why Do You Want Him Back When He Treats You Badly?

relationship help

Has the guy you say you love behaved badly: cheated, yelled, belittled, put down, run off, or badmouthed you? So many times, women write to me and ask how to get back a guy who has behaved badly. The guy has moved on to greener pastures and unsuspecting victims, yet they lament to me that they really love […]

Relationship Advice: “So, the passive-aggressive guy said….!”


Maybe it was Art Linkletter who said, “Passive-aggressive men say the darndest things!”  The passive-aggressive guy said,  “If I can’t get what I want, then why should I give you what you want?” Now, in a supposedly loving relationship, that’s quite curious. It turns relationship into bartering. And, of course, it’s not rocket science to […]