We need to be safe with ourselves. To be safe, we need to be able to trust ourselves, be honest with ourselves and respect ourselves.  So, given those criteria, are you safe with yourself?

"Are you safe with you?"

That might seems like a silly question, but it is not.  We often need relationship help even for the relationship we have with ourselves, and this question helps us know that.

This morning in class, we were talking about how we come to trust ourselves. I brought up the blatant example of New Year's resolutions. We make promises to ourselves. Do we keep them? If not, we have just demonstrated that we are not trustworthy to ourselves.

(Of course, we first have to take responsibility for choosing attainable goals. Sometimes those New Year's resolutions are simply pie-in-the-sky wishes that only a genie, or a very, very, very disciplined person could ever achieve!)

Given then, that our goals were attainable and well chosen, when we fail to keep those promises to ourselves, we show ourselves that we do not really count. Other things, people or circumstances take higher priority in our daily living. Have you ever thought of it that way?

You are safe with yourself when you can trust yourself to do what is in alignment with your values and beliefs--every moment, no matter where you are or with whom.  When you keep your promises to yourself, you also demonstrate that you respect yourself. Those resolutions  weren't idle thoughts or passive, passing whims. They were things that were important to you.  Therefore, they deserve respect, which is what you demonstrate when you pay attention to them and achieve them.

Demonstrate to yourself that you are safe with you.  If you need relationship help to do so, get it. Keep those promises you make to yourself!

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler helps individuals and couples create healthy relationships with themselves and each other. She offers relationship coaching and mediation in her office in Escondido, CA, and online through Zoom video or audio. www.ForRelationshipHelp.com


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