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Ten essential insights about anger you need to consider

Anger Management Classes in San Diego, CA and online thru Skype video conferencing. Optimize Center, Escondido, CA.

Anger is healthy. It lets us know there is something to pay attention to in our environment and relationships.  It's what we do with our anger that makes all the difference to the maintenance of our own health...and to the health of all our relationships.

Anger management and anger therapy are the focus of many of my offerings, both in my office and by online video conference with individuals and couples. So, I've been thinking about some things this morning that you may find helpful. Hopefully, you'll find them provocative to think about and worthwhile to apply to your own health and relationships.


  1. Anger arousal symptoms--shallow breathing, blood flushing the face, shoulders creeping to the earlobes, cold hands and feet, and unfortunately, inability to think straight--give us an early warning to keep our mouth shut and think....if we are wise.
  2. Anger arousal is a biological response that gives us the clues to immediately use anger management strategies.
  3. Anger arousal tells us what events annoy us. Only taking some soul solitude time will allow us to trace and track the origins of the triggers so we can understand them. That allows us to choose our responses much more responsibly.
  4. Anger without anger management skills leads to trouble in relationships. You may have learned this ways you would prefer not to repeat!
  5. Anger turned inwards because we do not have the skills, or do not trust ourselves to express it, can make us sick.
  6. Anger turned outwards without skills will make our relationships sick, and can kill them off, too.
  7. Anger coming at us from others can damage our self-esteem and self-confidence. It easily turns into abuse. We have to learn to manage incoming anger, too.
  8. Anger management skills, insights and strategies are one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves...and our teenagers. Imagine learning this early. Perhaps, it could have changed your life. Fortunately, it's not too late to learn and benefit.
  9. If you think you do not have any anger, you may not have any boundaries! You need to look at this right away. No boundaries means no sense of self. It leads to becoming a doormat that people wipe their feet on with no thought at all. Doormats are flat for a
  10. Anger is healthy. It is natural. It is a gift of perception, experience and biology. You are wise to learn all you can about it and how to manage it within yourself, in your relationships, and when it it coming at you. When you learn these skills, you will feel much more self-confident in any relationship, at home or at work.

Learn how to recognize, calibrate and respond to anger in productive, effective ways. You owe it to yourself.

Come along to one of our classes or seminars.

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1 comment

  1. GaryFPatton - Reply

    Great stuff, Rhoberta! Thank you for your counsel!

    Anger is one of the most powerful emotions and the most challenging one to manage for most people. Some of us can’t “manage” it …at all. At best, some of us can moderate our reaction to our amygdala’s response to our perception of a violation of our so-called rights.

    That’s why your Essential #1 is so crucial. (I know because I fought a losing battle with anger/rage for over 25 years until recently when I learned a secret I had missed as a Jesus Follower. (Yeh! We’re NOT perfect …just saved.)

    You may enjoy my Tweet for tomorrow apropos your Essential #1:
    “A relationship can only thrive when at least one party knows when to back off!” ~ gfp ’42™

    Gary in Toronto

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