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7 Red Flags That The Person You’re Dating is Toxic. Run!

When you're dating, you want to see the best in the other person, and you want them to really like you. Right? BUT, too frequently, the hope that someone will love you clouds your willingness to see the red flags that tell you that they never will. Don't miss these dating red flags!

So many people in my Facebook groups write about their fear of dating after being with a Hijackal. They are right to be concerned, and hopefully, that concern will lead them to getting the best help they can so they feel safe with themselves. Then, they will further develop their Hijackal Radar. That's what I help them do when we work together through video conferencing.

There are people who are momentarily difficult--like you or me on a bad day--and then, there are others who are relentless difficult. I call those ones #Hijackals ®. If you've been listening for awhile, or reading my articles, blogs, or books, you're already well aware of that term.

My definition of a Hijackal®:

A person who hijacks a relationship--for their own purposes--and relentlessly scavenges it for power, status, and control."
Sound Familiar?

Everyone has bad days. Everyone goes through rough patches. We've all been there.

When it happens occasionally and completely unexpectedly, we know someone is "off their game." With Hijackals, it happens more and more. And, usually just to the people they say they love the most. In fact, more specifically, usually to their partner or child. Even, their adult children!

It could be an impossible to please parent. It could be a partner who set out to "get you," and life has turned into one big "Gotcha!"

These seven red flags to notice when dating can save you so much heartache later. So, whip off those rose-colored glasses and see these red flags for what they are: DANGER AHEAD!

Get insights on:

  • how Hijackals fool you when they are trying to "get you"
  • why nothing is ever their fault, but everything becomes your fault
  • why giving them more understanding, love, patience, care, or time will not help
  • how Hijackals erode your self-esteem and self-confidence
  • what to do when you realize all this is true

Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! They try to poison you. Be clear that you are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are, either. They will try to make everything your fault. Don't take it in!

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Red Flag Photo © Tom Woodward,

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3 comments

    • DrShaler avatar
      Rhoberta Shaler, PhD - Reply

      Michelle, I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s sad, nasty, frustrating, and infuriating, all at once. How long did it take for you to realize what was happening? What did you do then?

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