Something is wrong. It's off. It's sideways. You may not be able to put your finger on it, so let me help.
You may be used to these things, and that's not a good thing! How did you get used to them? Maybe, a parent did them and you learned these ways so early on that, even though you hate it, you accept it.
Time to change that. Once you really understand these four things, and TRULY ACCEPT that you cannot change them in the other person, then your life can improve by leaps and bounds.
Yes, if you've been in the relationship for a long time, it might get nastier and messier for a while before it improves. Hijackals® don't like to be actually seen! They don't respond well to it.
You know about Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people we talk about here on Save Your Sanity. These four things are almost in their DNA: they will do them. They may do them actively and openly, or they may be covert and underhanded, but they'll do them.
Once you see these four signs, and actually believe that you cannot change them, you'll begin to go and grow in a healthier direction. Sure, it may not be easy at first, but it will get so much better. I promise.
Red flags? They are everywhere, but when you're wearing rose-colored glasses, those red flags are very hard to see.
It takes real strength to whip those glasses off, once and for all. You'll see clearly, even though you may not like what you see. That's the beginning of coming into your own, to empowering yourself to stand strong.
In this episode, I'm sharing four big signs that, once you let yourself see them for what they are, you will not be able to unsee them...unless, of course, you slip into denial and allow yourself to keep on being demeaned, discounted and distressed. You won't do that, will you?
Think about these four signs.... How many are present within you, or within in your relationship with the others. How's that working for you? Whether that's your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, or co-worker, you want to understand what's really going on. And, when you're being hurt, you want to see clearly, stand up for yourself, and say "No more!"
Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:
- Am I letting these behaviors go unchecked in my relationship?
- Did a parent treat me this way, so demeaning behavior somehow feels "normal?"
- If someone always has to win and it isn't me, am I willing to allow this to carry on?
- Have I been in denial about this because I don't know what my next best steps are?
- Do I drag my feet about changing my relationship because it all seems so difficult, distressing, and uncertain?
Start with yourself.
If you need help with this, I'm here for you. I've done a few videos on my YouTube channel to help you learn more. Subscribe to it HERE.
You can make it stop. Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an introductory session HERE.
I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.