© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
What is an even balance? And, is it achievable? Big questions. I think we are always balancing rather than actually achieving balance for very many minutes…or seconds. That said, though, coming to that state of balance, equilibrium and joy is the important concept. How long we can sustain it is up to us!
Fear is the climate in which most folks live today. Even when they do achieve some sense of balance– joy, love, safety, understanding, peace, joy, they then become fearful of losing it. Snap! It’s gone. That feeling of contentment and security seems so elusive. Could it be because we look for it in the all the wrong places?
If we look for good outside ourselves and put our faith and trust in persons or things, we are on shaky ground already. If we are dependent on other people and material possessions, it is a false reliance that usually fails in the end. When we rely on what we can see and touch, we are likely going to find that sense of peace very infrequently. And, furthermore, if we think that momentary joy came from what we see and touch, we’ll waste our time trying to repeat the experience that way. Not so good, I’ve found.
This is worth thinking about: if we believe in the visible, the things we can see and touch, they are by nature limited. Then, we begin to be concerned about “getting our share” which leads us to scarcity thinking. If what we can grab is what is real, then we have a big problem. It has to be shared by all the people in the world, so, if I can get more, you have to have less. No wonder we have a fear problem! And, think what this does to countries, too.
Our enduring values cannot be found in material things or in other people. We can only find enduring values in that which is beyond the visible, that which is already an integral part of our being, God within.
Surely there is something better than engaging in the everyday struggle and strife, and the multitude of conversations about it. That’s why we spent considerable time in our book, Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, shedding some light on our culture’s addiction to drama. Just think of TV news and you’ll see it larger than life. We get pulled into the story, the struggle, the “ain’t it awfuls” in daily conversation. Where can that possible get us? Well, here’s a clue: it is summed up in my book, What You Pay Attention to Expands. It’s that simple. Where you turn your attention and focus is where you will find more coming your way. If you don’t want that to be struggle, it’s a good idea to stop that conversation!
When we awaken to the Presence within, we begin to see that undue attention to the things of this world only add to our difficulties. I’m not suggesting that you stop taking care of daily life, of course. I’m simply suggesting that you change the focus to the outpouring from you rather than the desire to get from outside yourself. It’s amazing how quickly your life changes when you are more concerned with what you can give than concerned about what you may or may not be getting.
Counter-intuitive in an ego-centric culture? Absolutely. But taking the step to focus on giving rather than figuring out how to get is a great first step on the path to creating an even balance. I know, because I’ve taken it, and taken it, and taken it. It takes moment-to-moment consciousness of where I want my mind to be stayed. So, I have to recommit to the journey repeatedly. Sometimes, it is sustained and I know what true peace and joy are. Trust me, it’s worth the attention!
To your joy, peace and recognition of abundance in your life,