Whoa! Before you even think for a nano-second that my answer would be anything close to yes, it isn’t! Here’s why I’m writing this today. A person in a Facebook group suggested that, perhaps, we’re making too much these days of emotional abuse. He suggested that, perhaps, it’s not as bad, common, or accurate as…
IS NAME-CALLING EVER OK? EVEN IN AN ARGUMENT? You lose it. You’re angry, out of control, and maybe, even a little out of your mind. You want to win. You want to be heard. You want to be acknowledged. You want to feel validated. So, some words you hate hearing from others come bellowing out…
If you were raised by a Hijackal®* parent, deep down, you know you’re not fine. You say you are, but you’re not. Maybe, you can’t even put your finger on how you know you’re not. I want to help with that. You may not have all five of these deep-down beliefs about yourself, but I…
Hindsight is excellent. You know that. One of the hardest things to see when you’re falling in love is those red flags. You want to fall in love. It’s wonderful. It’s magical. Nothing should get in its way. Not even a Hijackal™*! Those red flags may not have been waving wildly, just quietly and occasionally.…
Is what you’re going through–or watching someone else go through–just a rough patch or actually abuse? Too many people put up with bad behaviors they make excuses for, and put up with, that are really abusive and need to stop! Recognize abuse when it’s happening. No one likes to think they are being abused. You, like…
Infuriating, right? A difficult partner–likely a Hijackal®–refuses to take responsibility for anything that is not praise-worthy. S/he will step right in if they can take credit for something good. But, when something goes sideways, it’s all you, all your fault. And, that’s just one infuriating thing that goes on on a daily basis! If this…
The best way to get the advice you need is to ask a question. I love to answer questions about real-life relationship issues, because that’s a lot more helpful for everyone. You are going through something that is unique to you, but also, not as uncommon as you might think. Sharing your story gives others Read More > >
Have you ever been lured into a store with the promise of a great–almost unbelievable–deal? Then, you get there and find that there are conditions: the deal is only available for people with perfect credit, green hair, purple eyes, an IQ of 220 and whose mother had no children? Otherwise, you’re out of luck. Or,…
Difficult people in your life–especially the relentlessly difficult ones I call Hijackals®–like to tell you what you think, what you feel, or what you should think or feel. That’s covert verbal abuse! Did you know that? Where do they get off doing that? Yet, many people are so used to that behavior that they no…
I’d love to welcome you to my Optimize Circles. I’m Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor, and I’ve created a safe place of support for you, away from Facebook, so you can feel secure. Share your journey. Ask your questions. Learn, grow, and heal. In your life journey, you’ve likely met one or two of Read More > >
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