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Some Hijackals have traits that include those of narcissists.

I think that too many people use clinical labels for the behaviors of others without knowing what they really mean. To make it easier for non-clinicians to be accurate when describing these behaviors, I created the term "Hijackals". Narcissist Personality Disorder is an actual diagnosis, but plenty of people with no diagnosis exhibit the typical behaviors. Listen in to this and other podcast episodes, and read more of my blog posts, to really understand how to recognize a narcissist.

So, what is a Hijackal®? A person who hijacks relationships, for their own purposes, while scavenging them for power, status, and control. Hijackals make you question your sanity and constantly second-guess yourself. That’s their game and they are very good at it! They play to win at any cost.

Hijackals include people who show up as narcissistic, sociopathic, psychopathic, borderline... these are all clinically diagnosable personality disorders, but are so rarely diagnosed... and often, people have simply learned the behaviors after being raised in a fearful, traumatic, hijackal household and don't know any other way to be. That doesn't make them any less toxic, however, so it's important to understand what you're dealing with so you can navigate relationships (or separations from them) in a way that allows you to keep your sense of self.

It can take a little practice to spot a Hijackal. Especially if you've been in the shadow of one for a long time. But once you know what you're looking for, it can be a bit shocking just how often you will recognize the tell tale signs. The next step is to fine tune your radar so you can really tell when someone's just having a bad day, and when they are a dyed in the wool toxic human.

 

From this panel series I did with Helen Fisher, Ross Rosenberg, and Marcie Telander, this video addresses what falls into the realm of narcissistic behavior.

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