What Healthy Love Is

Knowing what healthy love is allows you to examine your own relationship more accurately. Don’t settle for crumbs. Wait for the full meal. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: Where we get our contexts for healthy love The necessary balance between autonomy and intimacy A definition of healthy love The 3 must-haves of a healthy adult relationship […]

Are Your Boundaries Secure, Or Too Porous To Keep You Safe?


Are your boundaries secure or about as porous as a flow-through tea bag?  Boundaries. You know you need them to define yourself. You know you need them to draw a line in the sand with a #Hijackal, or any person wanting to roll on over you. You know they can keep you safe. You may […]

Real Grown-Ups Don’t Fight Because They Know These Three Things

Fighting is what kids do because they have no skills and brains under construction! They don’t know better. Some adults don’t seem to know better, either. Hijackals definitely don’t, right? Today’s episode will help you, not them. That’s a good thing! Emotional grown-ups don’t fight. Kids and needy adults fight. You don’t want to be […]

Cheated on ? How To Move Past It To Grow Together.

cheated on by partner, sad, depressed,

Been cheated on? Betrayed? Sideswiped and blindsided by someone you love? That hurts so much. Cheated on? How could that happen? You thought everything was OK. Well, maybe, you weren’t quite as involved, or caring, but you told yourself that relationships settle into daily life. After focusing on each other so intently, you started seeing friends […]

Listening Well Really Matters. Here’s Why!

Listening in a relationship is important

Many relationship issues arise from lack of listening. Hearing is NOT enough. You have to listen. The major difference between hearing and listening is that hearing engages your ears only and listening engages your mind. You hear lots of sounds: noises in the house, cars going by, televisions in the background. You don’t listen to these unless […]

3 Key Shifts To Make Your Good Relationship Great

relationship help, coupleology, relationship blog, relationship help doctor,

Warm, comfortable relationships can get even better with these three key shifts. Many times, when your relationship seems happier, easier, and more content than ones your friends have, you think you’ve hit the jackpot. Maybe, it’s no longer exciting, new, or intriguing, but it is comfortable and seemingly secure. That’s a super starting place! But […]

Manage Anger Or It Will Manage You!

Get relationship help now for yourself if you suspect you are living with, or divorced from a high conflict person.

When people come to me for anger management coaching and classes, they often say: “I don’t like who I am when I let my anger fly!”  They are disappointed, embarrassed, humiliated, and/or, having to mop up a big spill of emotions that didn’t need to happen. You might say, “Yes, it did! I just couldn’t stand […]

Valentine’s Day Is Over. Time To Stand On Your Head!

valentines day is over

Valentine’s Day holds so much hope for expressions of love, and a respite from relationship angst. You put faith in that one day restoring or re-kindling the spark! Even if it does, it fades quickly. It’s a bit like an old joke I like: This fellow is touring hell and the devil says, “I’m going […]

Why Do You Want Him Back When He Treats You Badly?

relationship help

Has the guy you say you love behaved badly: cheated, yelled, belittled, put down, run off, or badmouthed you? So many times, women write to me and ask how to get back a guy who has behaved badly. The guy has moved on to greener pastures and unsuspecting victims, yet they lament to me that they really love […]