Are you thinking of love? Whether you are filled with joy at the love you share with a significant other, or, you are feeling empty and alone, you are still thinking of love. How do you put love first?
As the greeting card industry makes Valentine’s Day into a day for lovers, let’s us make today the day to celebrate love of all kinds…and let’s begin with love for ourselves!
Today is the day to take yourself out for your favorite food, wear you favorite clothes, buy the flowers you admire, and call everyone you care about and tell them you love them. Put love first today. Love is in the giving, and you have lots of love to give. You renew that resource yourself!
I want to be clear that I am not suggesting that you do what some foolish myth says “Give ’til it hurts!” That’s the most absurd thing when you really think about it. Giving feels good. When it stops feeling good, it is time to re-evaluate the relationship with yourself and with the other person.
Some folks have been taught to believe that if you just dig deeper, go further and push through resentment, you’ll somehow be a better person. That leads to deep-seated anger which won’t stay hidden forever. We give love because we want to. Simple as that. Sure, sometimes, we have to do a few mental gymnastics to remind ourselves of the principles we choose to live from in this moment. It doesn’t always come completely naturally. We may have to undo a few ‘gifts’ from the past to embrace our possible now. It is possible, though, to re-focus and put love first. It can transform your life!
Open your heart today. Put love first. A heart fully alive understands that only through openness can love be fully experienced. Everything is understood by its opposite. Never be afraid of pain. Embrace love now.
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
The Relationship Help Doctor
Author of Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain & Strengthen Your Relationship
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