A few posts ago, I shared the quotation from [intlink id=”1649″ type=”post”]Anthony de Mello[/intlink] that best expresses why I started Sow Peace™ International:
“If it is peace you want, seek to change yourself, not other people. It is easier to protect yourself with slippers than to carpet the whole earth.”
It’s time to put on our holiday slippers: the knowledge of who we are and the skills to express ourselves while being totally kind and totally honest at the same time. That’s what Sow Peace™ is all about. We need to become grown-ups, not just adults–tall, wider, stronger kids. To become a grown-up is to know what our values, vision, beliefs and purpose are and to demonstrate them in all that we say or do to ourselves, those at home, at work or in the community. We need to stand up on our back legs and make our unique contribution to the world. We’re not about living up to the expectations of other people. I know you’ve read that before here, but, it is SO true.
To put slippers on our own feet is to have the skills to create peace within and share it by behaving from it, not talking about it. Be peace. Only you are in charge of that. No one is doing anything to you that you don’t let them, or let their response to you engender. You know it was Eleanor Roosevelt, UN Diplomat, Humanitarian and wife of president Roosevelt, who said:
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
That goes well beyond inferiority. We get in habits of responding or reacting to life. We pick them up from our families, our communities or the organizations to which we belong. An important question to ask ourselves is: Am I reacting and responding to life in ways someone else told me to , or, am I working from my own ideas, understanding and skill sets?
So much has to do with our own self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth. I’ve worked with individual clients who, when we uncovered a few layers, were actually able to admit that they really did not believe that they deserved to take up real-estate or oxygen–on some levels. Certainly, they were not thinking of killing themselves, but, that attitude caused them to kill off a lot of good things: opportunities, relationships, promotions, love…and the list goes on. Once they replaced that belief with one of “I live from my own well-clarified values, vision, beliefs and purpose and therefore, I do ___________,” life changed for the better!
Sometimes we might fool ourselves into thinking we put our slippers on, but we may have only put our holiday slippers on. We may have put on our “make nice” slippers to make the holidays nice. We plaster a smile on our faces and try to tough it out. Then, we are so disappointed when the mask slips and we end up making the sarcastic remark, or becoming infuriated with a family member. That’s because of the holiday slippers. Real slippers are grown and then never fall off. You can still stub your toe now and again, but, you quickly recover because the slipper was not damaged.
So, let’s be sure to grow ourselves a pair…of slippers, that is. Get the skills you need to communicate, manage conflict, manage anger, negotiation and collaborate well and, joyfully, venture out, knowing that your slippers are trustworthy.
If you know you want the skills to sow peace without being a doormat, a wuss, or a gutless wonder, I’m happy to work with you through my webinars, group or individual coaching or onsite programs. Oh, and that also goes for any folks out there whose anger is getting in the way of giving and accepting love! That’s why I wrote [intlink id=”1242″ type=”page”]Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work[/intlink]. All the skills you need are right inside, whether you’re at work or not makes no difference because skills are skills!
I’ll walk with you. You can click on the navigation tab “Free Strategy Session”, if you want to talk.