How Hijackals Confuse You Through Cognitive Empathy

photo: woman looking confused with head in hands, background of swirling arrows on chalkboard

Yet, it feels real, and you SO want it to be real. There’s where the manipulation and confusion sets in. In this episode, I let you in on the secret that, much as you want it to be real, it isn’t. (Did I mention that?) You need to see that clearly to keep from being […]

Feeling Stuck With A Hijackal? Shift Your Thinking With These Tips!

Sometimes, you can feel SO stuck! The Hijackal–that relentless difficult toxic person–looms over your thinking, and keeps you in the shadow of fear. As I’ve said on Save Your Sanity, walking on eggshells is not a good way to get your exercise. Notice if you’re still doing that, and let’s change it! Even if it […]

Are We Making Too Big A Deal Over Emotional Abuse?

seeing traits of difficult people, Hijackals

Whoa! Before you even think for a nano-second that my answer would be anything close to yes, it isn’t! The existence and validity of emotional abuse cannot be understated. Diminishing it in that way is just layering on the abuse! Here’s why I’m writing this today. A person in a Facebook group suggested that, perhaps, […]

Is Name-Calling Ever OK?

Hijackals never stop finding fault and demanding control and power

IS NAME-CALLING EVER OK? EVEN IN AN ARGUMENT? You lose it. You’re angry, out of control, and maybe, even a little out of your mind. You want to win. You want to be heard. You want to be acknowledged. You want to feel validated. So, some words you hate hearing from others come bellowing out […]

3 Big Reasons Why Hijackals NEVER Stop And Why You Must

Hijackals never stop finding fault and demanding control and power

You are kind, patient, considerate, compassionate, and nice. Perfect Hijackal® Bait! Sure, all people with those traits are not Hijackal Bait, but, if you’ve been around Hijackals in your growing up years, you may be normalized to accommodating the unkind, obnoxious, and demanding behavior of other people. If that’s the case, you are Hijackal Bait…and […]

Boomerang of Blame: Why Difficult People Make It All Your Fault

I'll tell you what to think.

“It’s crazy-making! No matter how wrong s/he is, it’s always my fault. I’m to blame!” That’s what I hear from so many clients: everything is always their fault. That’s because they are in relationships with chronically difficult people, aka Hijackals®  (scroll down for a quick video: My partner is constantly blaming me!) There’s a reason: […]