Perfection doesn’t bring personal peace

Came across this podcast while going through a very emotional and confusing time, and it’s been super helpful in highlighting lots of things that got overshadowed by past trauma that I couldn’t see clearly. It really feels like someone understands and can guide you to see more transparently and get through the difficult time in a toxic relationship. So thank you!

I happened upon this Podcast probably because of others I have listened to on this topic. I love her term “hijackles” and how she defines this type of person vs a healthy person. She is knowledgeable and understanding. You’ll be enlightened as you listen. Thanks! 🥰

Your podcast saved me from a world of chaos, fog, confusion, and fear. Everything finally makes sense. I have been listening and learning, connecting the dots, and am tired of sitting in the reality “that this is terrible.” I want and need tools to break extremely unhealthy and deeply rooted family dynamics in order to save my sanity, my marriage, and my family. I especially do not want this to affect my children and how they approach, build, and maintain future relationships.

I stumbled (by no accident) across your podcasts 2 years ago after my X had raged and then was giving me the usual silent treatment. I credit all your sound advice for my finally understanding and getting out of the most abusive relationship I’d been in. I’ve only been with Hijackals. I’m blown away how much more discerning I am of future Hijackals. I spot them immediately and don’t have the urge to help them. Your work has transformed my life. I’ll keep reading/listening and learning.… Read more

I found Dr. Shaler to be very knowledgeable with many solutions to relationship challenges.

I’m so relieved. I’ve been to several [sic:counselors] who sided with my crazy-making partner. Finally, someone who gets it, knows the feeling, sees the problem, and has helped me take positive steps.

I thought of you many times over the last period of time. I want to express my thank you to you as you helped me very much in a period of time that was difficult for me and when I had no knowledge nor methods to overcome them alone. Further more, I’ve read some of your books and conversations with you stimulated wonderful work on myself, which is ongoing. Thank you so much.