If you were raised by a Hijackal®* parent, deep down, you know you’re not fine. You say you are, but you’re not. Maybe, you can’t even put your finger on how you know you’re not. I want to help with that. You may not have all five of these deep-down beliefs about yourself, but I…
Hindsight is excellent. You know that. One of the hardest things to see when you’re falling in love is those red flags. You want to fall in love. It’s wonderful. It’s magical. Nothing should get in its way. Not even a Hijackal™*! Those red flags may not have been waving wildly, just quietly and occasionally.…
Subscribe to my podcasts! Listen here or on your favorite app: Get answers and insights to many surprisingly common relationship issues that often cause you to feel incredibly alone and mistreated. I tackle all sorts of different topics, including how to improve your relationship with yourself, so you can be a better partner. There are Read More > >
I’d love to welcome you to my Optimize Circles. I’m Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor, and I’ve created a safe place of support for you, away from Facebook, so you can feel secure. Share your journey. Ask your questions. Learn, grow, and heal. In your life journey, you’ve likely met one or two of Read More > >
“It’s all your fault!” No matter what is happening you hear “It’s all your fault.” Even, if you weren’t there, it’s somehow all your fault. Maybe, it is. Maybe, you are absolutely incompetent, incapable, and unworthy in every way. But, it’s not likely all your fault. For one thing, you would never have opened this…
Are you being verbally abused? It’s there. It’s always in the air. It could strike or rebound at any time. Have you gone nose-blind to it? “Nose-blind” is a phrase from a TV ad for air-freshener. The reason you’ve gone “nose-blind” to the awful smells in your house or car is because you have grown…
Hijackals®–those relentlessly difficult people in your life–like to think they have power over you. They practice that–in fact, check that–by trying to make you lose your cool. It’s that simple! I’m going to help you with these steps for keeping your cool around them. Usually, you are on guard for the next irritation when you’re…
Children watch. From the moment they are born, they watch…and, they are watching you. Right from birth, your children watch. They are being imprinted with all that they take in through their senses, through what they see, hear, taste, touch, and smell. They have no language but they hear the tone of your voice. They…
What’s going on in your relationship? Do these things feel familiar? “I can’t put my finger on what’s wrong anymore and feel like I am going crazy.” “Nothing I do is right or good enough.” “It’s always my fault…even when it isn’t.” “I’m so tired of the drama, the outbursts, the attacks, and the cycles.” Read More > >
You are so angry and you just want to tell that !#&*()#$! what you really think…and what you believe s/he needs to know! Likely, that’s very unwise! Managing your anger is the most important issue at this moment. It’s a fleeting moment, don’t miss it. Managing Anger: Ask yourself: Where do I want to be…
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