How to Finally Believe A Hijackal Doesn’t Love You

16 Clear Ways They Show They Don’t!

You want to believe that a Hijackal–a toxic, difficult, perhaps narcissistic person–loves you. You SO want to believe it.

They don’t have much love to give and here are 16 ways to recognize that they aren’t giving it to you. An eye-opener!


  • The transactional nature of toxic relationships
  • 16 ways that love relationships differ from toxic relationships
  • Why you must not continue to believe that you are loved and make excuses for poor behavior
  • My definition of emotional abuse, and why you are best to keep it in mind
  • Clear ways to recognize real love to compare and contrast with what a Hijackal offers you

People who love you listen to you. They want to listen to you. And, you want to listen to them. You’re interested in each other. Not so with a #Hijackal. The Hijackal is interested in themselves and want you to be interested in them, too. Sure, in the beginning, it’s different. That’s how they hook you as I spoke about in the last episode, How Hijackals Hook You Into Toxic Relationships.

You know from listening to the episode on the 3 MUST-HAVES in a Healthy Adult Relationship that equality is a must. Do you believe you have that in your relationship with a Hijackal? I’ll be not. You may want to bring up a couple of instances when there seemed to be equality, but that’s part of the problem. There’s supposed to be equality all the time. There’s an example of the love that’s missing in a toxic relationship: love.

Everything is transactional with a toxic person, a person with narcissistic tendencies, and those with anti-social tendencies as well. They don’t really have love to give you, but they will appear to to have you give them what they want: a transaction. I know, it’s not great to hear that straightforwardly, but it’s absolutely important to recognize it.

You SO want to believe that a Hijackal loves you, I know. Sometimes, it really seems that they do, but only when it serves their purposes and gets them what they want. Sad, and unfortunately, true. Hard to hear, but time to recognize it.

Here are some related posts and episodes that might help you right now:

Love, Lust & Love-Bombing! How to Tell the Difference to Stay Safe GUEST: Dr. Terri Orbuch

The Hijackal Haze: How Hormones Keep You Hooked on Hijackals and Hope

Who Cares? Not Hijackals! They’re Empathy Deficient.



What folks have said…
My partner offered me your video.. however, I am mind boggled that it is her that is the Hijackal.. it all makes sense to me right now… I always knew that she doesn’t take responsibility for her actions and I am always to blame.. and eventually I started to believe her as I love her .. Oh my god! your video is incredible and enlightening.. I feel secure again within myself.  
incredible and enlightening

stay updated

Get every episode of Save Your Sanity by email, when it’s published.

Handle your hijackals

get vital content about Identifying, loving, leaving and surviving hijackals, narcissists and other toxic people

You can easily unsubscribe any time. Emails are sent based on when we publish content or schedule events.

Log In is required for submitting new question.