All the loving, caring, nurturing, compromising, and patience in the world is not enough to change the basic nature and behavior of a narcissistic person. Here's why.

Parents who were emotionally available, perceptive, and responsive to you, to your needs and mental states, are a great gift! They tend to provide you with attachment that is secure. This is an excellent foundation for a healthy emotional life.

Parents who were emotionally unavailable, or inconsistently available, perceptive or response to your needs, and tended to intrude their own states of mind onto you as a tiny child, could create what is called a "resistant, ambivalent, or anxious attachment" to others. This is an excellent breeding ground for an unhealthy emotional life. And, in particular, sets the stage for personality distortions in later life.

So, that person whom you met when they were an adult--a partner, ex, parent, co-worker--was already pre-disposed to their outwardly self-important, prone to pomposity, self-adoration, and annoyingly entitled behaviors long before you can along.

You can't change them. They don't want to change. They see no need to change.

Got it?


Now, let yourself off the hook.


  • What attachment theory is
  • How attachment theory helps explain the basic nature of people in relationships
  • Secure attachment is healthy
  • Avoidant attachment is dismissive
  • Anxious,attachmentambivalent attachment is preoccupied
  • Disorganized attachment is unresolved
  • Why a Hijackal's behavior is not your fault
  • Why you cannot change a #Hijackal

Listen to this episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.


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