Fawning can be thought of as a step further than people-pleasing. SO, you really need to know about it. Until you become conscious of it, you may be doing it. To get your life back, and to be emerging empowered, you want to recognize it, take charge of it, and garner new insights and skills.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
- What The Fawning Response is
- How it shows up
- Why it shows up and becomes a habit
- Seven ways you abandon yourself when you choose the fawning response
- Why its important to see the fawning response and give it up
When you have suffered from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder–which many people who have been abused in many ways do, you may recognize that you actually respond to conflict with The Fawning Response. This term was created by therapist and abuse survivor Pete Walker in his book “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving”. It’s a coping mechanism, a poor one, used in an attempt to create safety in our relationships with others to garner their approval and meet their expectations. As I said, it’s not a good one. It’s unhealthy and damaging to yourself. Hence, self-abandonment!
You give and give and give in toxic relationships and it’s never enough, right? Hijackals always want more. Even if they tell you exactly what they want from you, when you give that exact thing to them, they want something different. Overtime, over-giving becomes a habit, and so does fawning. It’s exhausting.
One thing people who have experienced trauma don’t want? More trauma. The fawning response is an attempt to prevent more trauma. IT DOESN’T WORK, but you’re ever hopeful it will keep you out of the spotlight and out of hot water.
Listen in and recognize The Fawning Response in action. If it sounds familiar, take it to heart and choose to make a change. You may think it’s keeping you safe, but it actually is not. You’re losing yourself, and that’s not a good thing at all!
If you recognize that the Fawning Response is something you want to address, I’m here to help.
I wish you well.
I’M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!
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