I want to thank you for your work - I have come across it on Youtube while searching for how to respond to PA behaviour.
I have ordered and read your "Stop - that's crazy making", "Escaping the Hijackal trap", "The Hijackal trap" and now I am reading "Kaizen for couples".
Your work has really helped me see what is going on in my relationship with my partner.
I can't afford individual therapy at the moment (I plan to do it), but I am in Al-Anon which also helps a lot.
I have set some boundries - for labeling and namecalling and they really help me to be more confident.
I however can't find a way to be assertive when it comes to unloving behaviour. Example: I sing a funny song and say: "It was a funny song and I sang it well didn't I'" and my partner says: "No...sorry I was not listening" (although he was standing next to me).
It infuriates me because I feel it is a power game and of course he doesn't take responsibility for it.
 Please can you recomend some material for me to learn to respond assertively with this kind of behaviour.
Thank you very much and all the best to you!
V.Eastern Europe