Housebound with a #Hijackal? We all need to be self-isolating right now. It's the best thing for everyone - but self-isolating with a narcissist? That might feel tougher than getting through the virus itself.
Did the first moment you realized that you might be quarantined with a Hijackal parent or partner send shivers through you?
This is NOT THE TIME to try to work things out or point things out. Difficult though it may be, when you are 24/7 with a #Hijackal, that the time to be the coolest you have ever been!
Nothing you say will change them. Save your breath. Take them to heart right now, especially when housebound with them!
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
- Fears about being housebound with a toxic person
- Know what to do to maximize peace
- Know what to do to minimize rage
- Why expectations need to be low
- Why to stay in "Observe" mode to save your sanity
- 10 basic things that #Hijackals do that you cannot change no matter what you say
- What to do while you wait it out. SO IMPORTANT!
Difficult, toxic people freak easily. What do they do when they freak? They demand more power and control.
OK, tell them they MUST stay home, and they are going to do two main things: refuse to stay home because "No one is gonna tell me what to do!" or stay home and be miserable, self-centered, and annoying, at a minimum. You know that.
Today, I'm giving you these ten truths clearly so that you will not expect the Hijackal in your life to be different. You won't expect them to change. You'll save yourself the time, effort, anxiety, and stress of hoping they will change.
Home 24/7 with a Hijackal? You'll get all the exercise you need walking on eggshells. These ten truths will help you see how to avoid blowing the roof off...or, at least, do you best to keep things to a dull roar.
One of your best tools is to go for walks - alone. Or meet up with friends - STAYING 6' APART OF COURSE - somewhere out in the open. Social distancing and self-isolation are our best defense against spreading the COVID-19 virus.
When you're at home with a narcissist, this will feel hard - but if your Hijackal is convinced that they are impervious to the virus, and coated in teflon so they won't pass it around - you need to protect yourself above all else. Find ways to seclude yourself within the house. Wash your hands. A LOT. Don't let them breathe on you. Require them to wash their hands when they come home from being out. Create some strong boundaries using this virus as the catalyst. Now is great time to establish some new lines in the sand.