How Emotional Abusers Push You To It, Blame You For It & Shame You With It!
Do you ever wonder if you're the problem in a relationship when you know that the other person is forever pushing your buttons, blaming and shaming you? You may be suffering from "Reactive Abuse," and that's a cycle that you can put a stop to.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
- What is Reactive Abuse
- How does reactive abuse come into play
- Why you feel so badly about yourself when reactive abuse plays out
- What you may mistakenly do that doesn't help at all in the face of reactive abuse
- When you snap, lose it, and tell it like it is and the tables get turned on you
- What to do to reframe from Reactive Abuse
You are patient. You give the benefit of the doubt. You take the blame. You apologize when you have done nothing wrong.
Any of those sound familiar? Do you do them too often? Do you find yourself on the apologizing, even begging, end of abuse? Well, when you engage in Reactive Abuse, it can get totally crazy-making. It's really hard to tell which end is up once that cycle revs up. And, that's definitely NOT a good thing!
My definitions of Reactive Abuse:
When an emotional abuser abuses you, and you get react to their abuse by getting angry. Then they react to your anger and say that you are being abusive.
When an emotional abuser pushes you to the edge, and tells you you're unstable and abusive when you fall off.
Nasty! Sad. Shady. And, just wrong!
It's important to see this cycle because it can be endless unless you see it and stop it. That begins by taking charge of your part in it and learning to respond rather than react to their abusive behaviors. Not easy, but do-able!
Have you ever been pushed to the point where you simply lose it by an emotional or verbal abuser? That's them exercising manipulation and control, hoping that you'll respond with rage, blame, name-calling, and all the things you'd likely rather not do.
This is the cycle of Reactive Abuse. As soon as you lose it, #Hijackals have you where they want you: they have the upper hand. Everything you do or say will be held against you, and a story about it concocted to make the Hijackal out to be the victim.
Listen in and understand fully how Reactive Abuse works, and what you can do to stop the cycle.
Are you seeing the cycles of reactive abuse clearly now? I'm here to help.