How & Why to STOP ENABLING a Hijackal

You are likely anxious, feeling unsafe, angry, and exhausted from life with a relentless difficult Hijackal. Understanding enabling and knowing how to stop–beginning with small ways–is important for your well-being and mental health. You likely never meant to become an enabler. It happens slowly. And, just as slowly, you abandon yourself in favor of meeting the needs and taking responsibility for the actions of another person.

See the enabling clearly, and use these 10 Ways to find your way back from enabling other adults. Not your job!


  • Dr. Shaler’s definition of enabling
  • How enabling differs from empathy
  • Not being responsible for the actions of others
  • Essential nature of boundaries
  • 10 Ways to Stop Enabling over time

I’m here to help. Let’s talk soon.


If you have a narcissistic partner or parent, it’s important to remember that enabling them is not helping anyone, including yourself. It’s normal to feel obligated to help or lift up those we love, but when someone is exhibiting manipulative behavior and expecting too much with little effort of their own, taking steps to stop coddling them can be beneficial for everyone involved.

Becoming an enabler in a relationship with a narcissistic partner is not intentional. You may have slowly changed over time as you placed your partner’s needs before your own.

This can be scary and overwhelming to recognize. But now what? Remember one key thing: it’s okay to put yourself first.

While it can feel strange and uncomfortable to go against years of patterned behavior, it is so important to take the time to focus on yourself, find out what YOU need, and make your own decisions. Anxiety and guilt may come up when setting boundaries with a narcissistic partner but it is vital for your physical and mental health…to regain control of your life.

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