How It Erodes Your Self-Worth and Self-Confidence

Sneaky stuff this emotional brainwashing! It often starts slowly and seems understandable. But, it continues and tips you over into second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity, right? And, down the slippery slope! Listen in to uncover what may be happening--or has happened--to you. Great start!


  • How emotional brainwashing shows up
  • The phases of a toxic relationship and where the emotional brainwashing begins
  • Recognizing that you cannot please a #Hijackal
  • My story that can help you see why you may be denying the emotional brainwashing
  • Remembering that it is not your fault, and what to think instead

What is brainwashing, actually?

Cambridge Dictionary:

"the process of making someone believe something by repeatedly telling them its true and preventing any other information from reaching them.

Hijackals and other toxic people certainly engage in emotional brainwashing. That's my term for repeatedly gaslighting you by stating that they know you better than you know yourself and they are right about what you think, feel, need, want, remember, and prefer. They continue that process by degrading, belittling, intimidating, manipulating, and lying in an attempt to make you believe that you are much less than you are.

Does this sound familiar? It may have started only occasionally: making snide remarks about you, perhaps in front of others, in the hopes that they could embarrass or humiliate you and you would be unlikely to speak up. Nasty! Then, it escalates...and often, accelerates. You need to have a name for it. I call it "emotional brainwashing."

See it to say no to it, otherwise, it will not stop.

You did not set out to be trauma-bonded. It's nothing that you did. You were set up for it earlier in life, either by being healthy and happy and never imagining this could be the case, or by having been in traumatic relationships earlier in your life. It's not your fault.

Now, that this is all clear to you, you're better equipped to make progress towards a happier, healthier life.

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