Has your partner every just stopped talking to you when things weren’t going his or her way? Or, when you weren’t doing exactly as s/he wanted?
And, then, the next things: THE DREADED SILENT TREATMENT!
The silent treatment is punishing, punitive, and often the way a person who wants power over you thinks they can control you. Sometimes, though, that other person–or, maybe, you–don’t have the skills or confidence to manage conflict in any other way.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
- You can learn better ways to communicate whether you do the silent treatment, or you’re on the receiving end
- Find out what’s driving that silent treatment
- Find the willingness to listen without judgment or defensiveness
- What emotionally mature people do when conflict arises
Why do people use the silent treatment?
- They want to demonstrate power over you
- They think you’ll give in if they hold out long enough
- They want to punish you by withholding love or intimacy of any kind
- They lack skills to communicate about difficult things…and they won’t risk trying.
- They are afraid they’ll lose, so they don’t start the conversation.
Any of those sound familiar?
It’s not uncommon for people to get scared, and then, get very defensive. That often even escalates into anger. Things can get very touchy!
People will react in out-of-proportion ways when they are feeling their self-worth is attacked, or in jeopardy. That’s often when they pull off that move: the dreaded silent treatment!
When the silent treatment arises in the relationship with your narcissistic partner, it can be difficult to know what to do. This passive-aggressive strategy is childish and unhelpful to any issue.
Your partner’s silence likely creates fear that their opinion of you or the relationship is further diminishing. It is essential to have self-compassion at these times and recognize that we cannot control anyone else’s opinions or behaviors—only our own.
You may consider talking with a friend or therapist, shifting your focus to an activity that gives you joy, or expressing empathy towards your partner as a way to see through the silence. Ultimately, there are many ways to navigate this tough challenge, however it is important to keep yourself at the center of each decision you make!
This is yet another opportunity to state, and hold, your boundaries about how you are willing to be treated.
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