Toxic Relationships & Narcissism Blog

What It Feels Like To Be With A Hijackal® | Hijackal Relationships

Have you watched my video series here, “Hallmarks of Hijackals?” If so, you know a whole lot about the person you have in mind. Now, it’s time to focus on you. When you’re first with a Hijackal, you don’t know it. You’re involved in the joy, wonder, and newness of this delightful, charming person who

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Things always your fault? It's crazy-making.

Always Your Fault? Always Wrong? You May Be With A Hijackal.

Is everything–somehow–always your fault? Do you so much want to believe your partner loves you, yet, you are so frequently being hurt? Do you justify your partner’s behavior with “S/he is just having a bad day, a bad time, under stress” too often? People who cannot allow themselves to think for one minute that something

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Hijackals never stop finding fault and demanding control and power
Anger Management

Anger & Aggression Ruin Relationships. Think About This.

When there is anger and aggression, do the wise thing: look inward first. Why start with you? Because you can’t change others! Be wise. Start with yourself. Anger and aggression? Other people can be crazy-making. No doubt! And, they can be scary: demeaning, belittling, demanding, threatening. All those things are aggressive. And, you so want

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Difficult People At Work Make You Want to Stay Home

Hijackals®, aka chronically difficult people at work, can create a daily hell when you have to interact with them. How do they show up and what can you do with them? A few weeks ago, my colleague and friend, Robert Imbriale, invited me to talk about my term, Hijackals–those chronically difficult people at work–on his

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I'll tell you what to think.
dealing with difficult people

Boomerang of Blame: Why Difficult People Make It All Your Fault

“It’s crazy-making! No matter how wrong s/he is, it’s always my fault. I’m to blame!” That’s what I hear from so many clients: everything is always their fault. That’s because they are in relationships with chronically difficult people, aka Hijackals®  (scroll down for a quick video: My partner is constantly blaming me!) There’s a reason:

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Rhoberta Shaler anger quote blurt you hurt
anger in relationship

Speaking When You’re Angry Costs Too Much. Do This Instead.

You are so angry and you just want to tell that !#&*()#$! what you really think…and what you believe s/he needs to know! Likely, that’s very unwise! Managing your anger is the most important issue at this moment. It’s a fleeting moment, don’t miss it. Managing Anger: Ask yourself: Where do I want to be

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Scary difficult person who mkaes you feel trapped and anxious.
chronically difficult person

Trapped By a Hijackal in Sheep’s Clothing? Beware!

Hijackals™ are chameleons when you first meet them. They will be just what you want them to be…and that’s the beginning of the path to feeling trapped. It’s like they can read your soul and give you the love, attention, and understanding you have longed for.   S/he scooped you up, engaged you fully, and stole

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Relationship help for dealing with a chronically difficult person,
chronically difficult people

Why Your Partner Always Makes You Feel Not Good Enough

“Nothing I do is right, not good enough. I do my best but it seems it’s never enough.” Do you feel that way much of the time with your partner, your mother, or a boss? Not just occasionally, but most of the time? (Watch the video at the bottom of this post for quick information on

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self-centered, narcissist, center of the Universe, Hijackal

“What Do You Mean I’m Not The Center Of The Universe?”

Some people need to be the star of the show, the object of attention, the center of the Universe. Then, there are some chronically difficult people who absolutely demand that position most of the time. And, if you’re not applauding, they say there is something wrong with you! Whether they take center stage by being

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chronically difficult partner, difficult people, difficult person, chronically difficult person, Hijackal
chronically difficult person

Difficult Partner ? Or, Chronically Difficult? Big difference!

There is a BIG difference between a momentarily difficult partner and a chronically difficult partner. Difficult people have bad days, weeks, or moments that are related to stress and life events. Sometimes, a bad mood or temporary hormone imbalance makes that difference. A chronically difficult partner, though, is often–if not always–difficult. You walk on eggshells

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Are you half of a High-Conflict couple?

High-Conflict Couples exhaust themselves and, eventually, the relationship. Because High Conflict Couples have one or both partners who: Just want to keep the conflict going, any conflict. Blames, shames and/or judges…and then justifies his/her own behaviors by making it their partner’s fault. Is always seeing the downside potential in everything. Holds on to ideas and

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