All I can say is OMG. 29 years. I cried with relief and understanding and validate I am not crazy or hard of hearing.
Please meet my dear friend Dr. Rhoberta Shaler who is highly health aware and a master at navigating people through relationship dynamics like no other I know and from a very unique and empowering perspective. She is especially gifted at working with spouses, partners, exes and colleagues of relentlessly difficult people. You can see her accomplishments at https://www.forrelationshiphelp.com/frhstaging.
I found Dr. Shaler to be very knowledgeable with many solutions to relationship challenges.
So thankful for all this help you share <3 I Found your channel just in the right timing. All you explain is like you are living inside my marriage and outer circle. I am going to love reading your books for more information, so that I know the how to’s in the near future. It’s amazing that I still hold on to my sanity, whilst having to deal with all this lunatic behavior. Although my health took a big toll, and it’s no wonder, so much frustration and let-downs, questioning the what happened, I know now, that enough is enough.
I want to thank you for your work – I have come across it on Youtube while searching for how to respond to PA behaviour.I have ordered and read your “Stop – that’s crazy making”, “Escaping the Hijackal trap”, “The Hijackal trap” and now I am reading “Kaizen for couples”.Your work has really helped me see what is going on in my relationship with my partner.I can’t afford individual therapy at the moment (I plan to do it), but I am in Al-Anon which also helps a lot.I have set some boundries – for labeling and namecalling and they really help me to be more confident.I however can’t find a way to be assertive when it comes to unloving behaviour. Example: I sing a funny song and say: “It was a funny song and I sang it well didn’t I'” and my partner says: “No…sorry I was not listening” (although he was standing next to me).It infuriates me because I feel it is a power game and of course he doesn’t take responsibility for it.Please can you recomend some material for me to learn to respond assertively with this kind of behaviour.Thank you very much and all the best to you!
Raised by, and all partners have been Hijackals. The last,was the most damaging. Thanks to you, after nearly 5 years of Severe verbal and emotional abuse, I’m out! I recommend you to women I meet who are in same boat. I’ve learned so much from you, the cycle is over!! Thank You ❤️
I thought I may never have this freedom, I actually felt very little when he tried to pull me in. Thank You THANK You ?
I’m so relieved. I’ve been to several [sic:counselors] who sided with my crazy-making partner. Finally, someone who gets it, knows the feeling, sees the problem, and has helped me take positive steps.
Thank you I love listening to you at my bed time 🌙 💤 it makes me feel safe and not crazy ✨
My partner offered me your video.. however, i am mind boggled that it is her that is the Hijackal.. it all makes sense to me right now.. i always knew that she doesn’t take responsibility for her actions and i am always to blame.. and eventually i started to believe her as i love her .. Oh my god! your video is incredible and enlightening.. i feel secure again within myself.
Dr. Shaler’s humor combined with her gentle presence and powerful message make her presentations a “must attend”. If you are looking to optimize youself, your life, or company profits and increase effective communication, then make sure you work with Rhoberta.
Ken Foster, CEO
“On your website you say, ‘Using gentle, powerful words and examples, Rhoberta teaches how to remove patterns and limitations that sabotage success.’ That perfectly describes what you did for me in the sessions we had together. I felt safe talking to you. Because of your kind, gentle way I could more easily hear the things you were saying to me and therefore take it in. Lots of times you told me things I already know but you said them in ways and illustrated with examples that helped me see them a little differently or motivated me to try something different. Your accepting, non-judgmental, kind and gentle way of talking with me helped me to feel better about myself and to motivate me to actually follow through with the strategies we talked about (which of course worked). Thank you.
“My coaching sessions with Rhoberta gave me focus and direction at a crossroads in my personal and professional life. I am in the business of helping others build their business, so working with Rhoberta and getting her input was refreshing and much needed.”
Joanne S. Black
“On behalf of the Washington Society of Association Executives… thank you so much for your wonderful program on “Get Life Lined Up!”. We had a GREAT response to your presentation… what a wealth of great ideas you provided us. We all came away with new energy and excitement about alighing the various aspects of our busy lives.”
Donna Cameron, Executive Director
WSAE, Edmonds WA
“Your quiet enthusiasm and ideas on team building, feeling good about being accountable, and the process of maintaining control really set the stage for an energetic goal setting session.”
Philip E. Hillstrom, CLU
State Farm Insurance, Shoreline, WA
“[Rhoberta Shaler] has a wealth of information and experience, and presents information with regard for the listener and interjects enough humor to keep all attentive. She is a pleasure to work with, conscientious and professional. She led our board members in an interactive program designed to foster board unity and develop positive relationships among members. The result was that board members clarified their commitments to their work for our organization and released tension and hard edged positions. This experiential program was enlightening for each member individually, and we learned a great deal about each other. I sincerely recommend her.”
Bev Abbey, President
BC Association of Clinical Counsellors
“Rhoberta engaged everyone while not being overbearing or threatening; she brought in humor, trust and creativity in a skillful manner. I highly recommend Rhoberta to any organization which is seeking to enhance it’s staff/members and thereby ensure better working relations.”
Sam T. Reimer, PhD, RCC
Restoration Counselling Services
“I thoroughly enjoyed my coaching with Rhoberta. Her calm and very centered manner is very helpful in determining areas in my business I need to focus more attention and improve. I have had preliminary coaching sessions with other coaches but Rhoberta’s style of focusing on improving the bottom line is absolutely the best”!
Independent Fashion Coordinator
“[She] is well-organized, knowledgeable & she has the ability to make individuals relax and question themselves.”
“Wow! What a wonderful way to end a convention! You held the entire audience in the palm of your hand. Your suggested skills for building high-performance and collaborative teams was hitting home and they were taking notes…even at lunch! I couldn’t have picked a more motivational, dynamic and humorous speaker. I’d recommend you in a heartbeat! Thanks for making me look so good!”
Vicki Patterson, Executive Director
Idaho Land Title Association
“Thank you for the great coaching sessions! I cannot believe the change and impact you have made on my life in just TWO sessions! Your ideas and suggestions allowed me to open my eyes to my life today and focus on what is important in life. Thank you for all that you do to help people optimize their lives! THANK YOU!”
Nicole N. Middendorf, Retirement Planning Specialist,
Financial Advisor, Morgan Stanley
“[Rhoberta] lead us to strategies for increasing our authenticity. She was engaging, humorous and enlightening (which was extremely important since we started at 7:30 AM)”
Gary M. Ernst
Leadership Development NW, Seattle
“I wanted to write this note to say how much Rhoberta Shaler helped me with her coaching. Several points were discussed and some issues were brought to my attention that other coaches were afraid to address. She has helped me to be a better listener (no small task) and this in turn has helped my sales. My selling style was also addressed and she helped me realize I was being overly aggressive and not listening enough to my potential clients’ needs. I would highly recommend Dr. Shaler to assist you with any conflict or problems that might arise in your personal or business life.”
President, The Art of Cruising
St. Simon’s Island, Georgia
“The quote that sticks in my mind is “Are you doing more bailing than sailing?” It has motivated me to deeply examine where I am and where I want to be.”
Washington Executive Women International
“The transfer of positive energy was easily picked up by most of the participants.”
“Thank you again for speaking to our group. Your approach was refreshing and fun, and we could all relate to the topic of ‘Getting Your Life Lined Up!'”
Executive Women International
“Very serious business handled with humor and sensitivity. Bravo!”
“You were an enthusiastic and energetic speaker who really related to your audience, and you provided a great deal of useful information in a humorous and down to earth manner. I would definitely recommend you to other groups or ASWA chapters.”
Karen Doane, Program Chair
American Society of Women Accountants
“Rhoberta Shaler has a gift for saying just the right thing to produce major “a-ha’s” and revelations! Her insights and suggestions have helped me integrate my business and life in a way that has left me feeling clear, focused, and energized. It has been a privilege to work with her.”
Speaker, Photographer, Author
“Outstanding! Just what I was looking for, a deeper clarification of what I’m trying to do. Have created posters out of what we talked about and they will shortly be where I can see them when I first wake up and as I go through the day.”
Anne Wayman, Author, Powerfully Recovered
“I can’t tell others enough to seize this golden opportunity. Run don’t walk! What a gift. To talk to someone who is a total stranger and get insight on your goals and long term business plans is invaluable. What you get is a totally unbiased and focused opinion and help in determining the important points. Rhoberta helped me just do it. While I have had a good plan for a while I might have deviated from the straight path just a bit so this coaching opportunity helped me realign my goals and get them back on the rails. Well worth the calls.”
Registered Graphic Designer/Owner Vintage Desinging Co. since 1987
“I interviewed Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on The Inside Success Show and loved every minute of it. Her excitement for helping people to optimize their lives, be truly successful, and live richly is very catching. Our listeners loved her warm and captivating style. I highly recommend her for any show.”
Randy Gilbert, Author of Success Bound
Co-host of ‘The Inside Success Show’ on internet radio.
“Rhoberta Shaler has a wonderful, engaging and warm way about her that draws you in and makes you feel great!”
People Performance Expert – www.BusinessGraces.com
“I heard a dynamic speaker tonight, Rhoberta Shaler, and she would be AWESOME for your upcoming Convention. Her presentation is perfect for women [and men] and they love what she has to say. Her presentation is very professional and offers tools that the people can immediately use. Her style makes everyone feel so comfortable and one is able to totally connect with her and what she has to say is powerful. Take a look at what she has to offer your wonderful conference, she is truly a dynamic presenter who your audiences will LOVE.”
National Association of Female Executives
Founder, For You Network
“Rhoberta has a very ingratiating speaking style that lets the audience like her immediately. She is a fine storyteller, and I found myself drawn into her presentation right from the start.”
Jeff Rubin, Editor/Owner Put It In Writing Newsletter Publishers – www.put-it-in-writing.com
“Rhoberta has an exceptional ability to engage the audience, convey very helpful information and inspire them as well. If you need consulting, coaching or a keynote, I recommend Dr. Shaler with enthusiasm.”
Corbin Ball, CMP
Speaker · Author · Columnist · Consultant – www.corbinball.com
“Rhoberta wowed me over with her warmth and wonderful story telling techniques during her presentation. She had the audience on the end of their seats and touched all our hearts at the same time.”
Debbie Allen, International professional speaker
Author of Confessions of Shameless Self Promoters – www.DebbieAllen.com
“Rhoberta, your ability to use such a wonderful metaphor for sharing a message that touches us all is incredible. You’re stories reminded me of my stories and in doing so helped me re-connect to the people and experiences that have helped me grow. Thank you.”
Shirley Garrett, speaker and co-founder of Forever Families, Inc.® – www.shirleygarrett.com
“Rhoberta’s one of the most refreshing speakers I know. Totally original, she’s a master at presenting high-content material in a fun, easy-to-understand manner!”
Ovation Consulting Group, Inc. – billstainton.com
“Rhoberta, your presentation was AWESOME. What a powerful message for women, and is so professionally done. I especially liked how you connected with the audience and because of that they totally tuned in to what you had to say. You provided me and the rest of the attendee’s with such wonderful tools that we could immediately take away and put into place.
“Your energy, enthusiasm and presentation style are wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing, your message is powerful and needs to be heard all over the world!”
President, Contacts Unlimited
& NAFE (National Association of Female Executives) Western
(about Dr. Shaler’s Optimize Life Now! Keynote)
“Living Richly is the course where the rubber hits the road – the one where you put your life energy where your mouth is. It’s the course for you – if you are willing to do more (much more) than wish and dream to realize your highest potential.”
“Excellent for the self-esteem. Highly recommend this workshop. Please offer this in the workplace. A great celebration for women!!”
Participant, YellowPoint , BC (about OptimalU)
“Living Richly was revitalizing and beautifully presented. Rhoberta is delightful, well-informed, right to the point, challenging and fun. This program is well worth your time and commitment.
Betty Bulen, R.N.
Founder, The Elizabeth Hospice
San Diego, CA
“I found Rhoberta sparkling, inspiring, soothing, and very practical! I made myself a Quik Reference of her tips and started using them immediately. Her message was uplifting and delivered with grace and a contagious calm. I highly recommend this expert speaker and masterful practitioner.”
D.K. McGuire, Instructional & Quik Reference Designer
“You were an enthusiastic and energetic speaker who really related to your audience and you provided a great deal of useful information in a down to earth and humorous manner.”
“Excellent, clear, meaningful presentation that I personally grew from.”
“Informative from beginning to end. First class!”
“We also took an internal tour of our integrity. This led us to strategies for increasing our authenticity. She was engaging, humorous and enlightening (which was extremely important since we started at 7:30 AM.”
“Dynamic, yet peaceful. [She] really means what she says…being in alignment with herself and the group. Fantastic.”
“Coming from the heart with honesty.”
“Thank you for your positive, challenging & humorous presentation.”
“The teleclass yesterday on Creating Healthy Balance was wonderful. You really helped me clarify and pinpoint some issues that I had only had a vague grasp of prior to the class. I didn’t just learn new information but really came away with an action plan. I really feel like I have had a breakthrough and the whole issue of balance is beginning to gel. You introduced me to a rather simple perspective on balance, however, I know that making these changes won’t be easy but the changes seem a little more manageable now. This class was especially powerful after last week’s teleclass on Uncovering Intention. I just need to make sure that my attention stays on my intention to create healthy balance in my life. I’m so grateful for your generosity in offering these free teleclasses.” – Denise
“This is a very powerful workshop. I recommend this to everyone no matter what stage of life they are in. This information will stay with me forever.”
B. Jones, Integrated Claims Management
Lacey, WA (about OptimalU)
I really love your book. Inspiring information on the left hand page, and action planning on the right is very wonderful. It really makes me want to do these things!
Author, Negotiating for Dummies
A great book to start or end your day with. Positive thoughts to trigger your subconscious programming for success.
I just wanted to thank you for sharing your insight and wisdom so freely – my daughter emailed a passage to me called “Whose Path Are You On?” and it was like a ray of sunshine when I read it. I believe that when the student is ready, the teacher will be there … and today it was you! Thank you…..
Since I started suscribing to you newsletters, my life has been truly enriched. I believe I now relate better with my work mates. Your newsletters are a great source of inspiration to me. I live in ghana and work in a bank, a mother of 2 toddlers. I’m trully thankful for your life and all the positive impact it’s had on people like me who’ve never met you.
I really appreciate the piece “Do You Have a Rhinoceros in Your Living Room,” and wanted to write to thank you for featuring it.
I am a director of human resources and constantly have to help people resolve conflict. This piece came along when I really could use it to help get some folks through an issue.
I definitely read every article. The whole E-zine is too good to miss a drop!
Zig Ziglar Network
Rhoberta: I look forward to each and every one of your “cyberspace” transmissions. Your articles are very informing and most definitely a wake up call for many people. Thank you for the wonderful “uplifting” articles you write.
Thank you again and please continue sharing your knowledge and experience with the world. You are helping many people…perhaps more than you know.
Jay Paterson, Las Vegas, Nevada
OH, I JUST LOVE GETTING YOUR EZINE!!! It really has helped me alot over the last …how long has it been, 2 years? Well, long enough for me to start noticing what a positive effect you’ve had on me!
Helen B., Nova Scotia
This came at the perfect time. Thank you for the inspiration and strength.
Your inspiration and motivation are forever appreciated. I can now give to others the way you have given to me. Thanks again. –
I LIVE for your message! Thank you for being there.–
Thank you for doing this. It is great stuff for me and very good to continue to hear it. I appreciate being on the list. You are doing great work. –
I’ve checked out all your sites and since I am a regular reader of them I am always impressed! You have many great hints and pieces of advice for everyone. As an educator who deals with both students AND the business community, you articles are most helpful.
Frank Grabusky, School-to-Work Co-ordinator,
Central York School District, York, PA
I just wanted to thank you for the Life Lined Up and Optimize e-zines which I subscribe to. I truly find them to be a great source of inspiration and encouragement. I have been a positive thinker (as opposed to a positive do-er!) for 50 years. Since reading your e-mails, I feel as if a giant bear which has been hibernating within me, is beginning to stir-and I’m excited at the prospect of my own potential! .Well done and keep up the excellent work.
I enjoy your positive messages- you do such a splendid job!
I want to take a few moments to let you know how much I enjoy your daily inspiration. Your thoughts have definitely kept my attitude positive and have challenged me to reach deeper within myself and also to reach further beyond my grasp.
May I take this opportunity to tell you, your advice has had a great impact on my life and I am now living a healthier and happier life thanks to your newsletter.
I would like to continue receiving your e-zine. I need it! You are the greatest. I hope to meet you someday. You have truly inspired me. Thank you. Thank you very much.
I read all of your messages, because they are vitamins of the mind for me. As you are aware, in order to change a habit, or except a new idea, you must feed that information into your mind continuously, until your old ideas leave, and you accept the new ideas. The other key is to get different perspectives on the same ideas, and that is why I enjoy your work so much.
I’m getting mine! and I love them! Thanks for these wonderful “picking-me-up” messages!! They are awesome.
Thank you so much for today’s email on Calmness. it perfectly describes what I have been trying to achieve for some time now. I look forward to receiving each of your Optimizer’s as they apply so much to my life, more often than not, the topic that you address and explore is exactly what I have been struggling with. Perhaps a little bit of synchronicity. You provide a wonderful service and I have benefited so much. The short but extremely well-written read provides me with food for thought for the rest of the day. I appreciate your integrity and caring for your fellow human beings like myself.
Your articles are short, down-to-earth, and basic common sense stuff. Their logic is also sound. I have subscribed to ezine, but was surprised to find that seems to come into my inbox on a daily basis. Ho on earth do you keep this up?
What a great perspective!
Thank you, Rhoberta, for the wonderful messages, they always make me think and ponder life in different eyes.
I wanted to tell you that you are helping a friend with her life decisions through your presentation on managing anger and difficult people. I was speaking with her on Friday and she kept saying, “Ya, that is what Rhoberta said” and “Rhoberta said almost the same thing”. Have a great week. I just thought you would like to know you are making a difference.
A very nice newsletter today from you. You are doing a good job. If you still love doing it, there is no effort then. I find it funny how effortless love makes everything we do. Glad to see you still in there pushing the good word.
I thoroughly enjoyed your “Optimizers” and look forward to them each day. Thank you for your uplifting service.