Second-guessing yourself? Questioning your sanity? Feeling caught, stuck or trapped in a consistently frustrating relationship?
"THE HIJACKAL TRAP™: Loving Someone Who SHOVES You Away Yet DEMANDS That You Stay" gives you what you need to recognize, respond to and recover from high conflict relationships.
After reading this guide you will know:
- Where the Hijackals are lurking
- How to identify them
- Why you are attracted to them
- Why they are attracted to you
- How to respond to their blame, shame and control tactics
- Steps you can take to manage and minimize unnecessary conflict
- How to leave a Hijackal and why it takes special powers
- Why getting help is a great choice
This is information that can help you now!
What is the Hijackal Trap?
The HIJACKAL Trap is very broad, far-reaching, and mostly subterranean.
You get glimpses of it in confusing early moments in your relationship.
You ignore those glimpses because they don't seem to fit the pattern you are creating in your mind: that your partner is wonderful, engaging, amazing, mysterious, delicious, and just right for you.
That's the pattern you are looking for, so that is the pattern you see.
When these little trap tentacles reach out and show themselves, you opt for your pattern of choice: "s/he is perfect for me".
The presence of The HIJACKAL Trap is illusive. Now you see it. Now you don't.
And, because you don't want to see it, when it does show up, you make excuses for it:
- "S/he is going through a bad patch."
- "S/he didn't really mean it."
- "S/he is having trouble at work right now."
- "S/he is usually so giving, so something else must be upsetting him/her."
- "Everybody has a bad day sometimes."
Those all make sense, right? You tell yourself that it is best to give people the benefit of the doubt. And, because you like being with this person—and maybe, just maybe, you really want them to like you—you make excuses for their behavior. And, that other person gets a little more of what they want, you get a little less, and you are somehow uneasy about it. But, often, not uneasy enough to start seeing the patterns.
The HIJACKAL Trap is set.
It lies in wait and sneaks up, usually very slowly, from all sides, but not all sides at the same time. That's the sneaky bit. Most often the illusion is that you always have an opening, a way out. You want to believe that, and often you do…for a long time.