What do you do when he “all of a sudden” stops talking to you?

q-100Dr. Shaler-

What do you do if you met a guy and all of the sudden they stop talking to you? I’ve known him since May and we had good vibes. Seems like recently he has been too “busy” to respond to my calls/texts.

I see him on the internet posting pictures but it don’t seem like he has time for me. I don’t know why I’m not having any luck with men. Not like the average women who don’t care about hurting the guys feelings but they rather do it to me without giving me a reason. Need some advice on dealing with men!

 


 

a-100

Hi,

I know this is difficult for you and you maybe need to think about this issue from two sides:

  1. Meeting good potential partners is not about luck. It is more about discernment. It is likely that this man showed you signs early in the relationship that gave you hints that he was not on the path to a committed relationship. You likely discounted these hints because you really liked him AND wanted to be believe that he really liked you. Many women believe men will change if they just love them enough.  (They don’t, and that goes the other way around, too!) That’s what people do so often and they are bewildered when things don’t turn out well.
  2. What is your focus when looking for a partner? If you are focused on them liking you more than you are focused on how they are presenting themselves, taking note of how they are demonstrating their values and showing you who they are, you’ll have more experiences like this. People show you who they are early on,usually. When people are in the infatuation phase, the “I really want him to like me” phase, you turn off your judgment and stop seeing who is really there. You might need a focus adjustment!

I hope that helps.

I wish you well.
Dr. Shaler

If you know you would benefit from clarifying your thinking and reshaping your patterns to get the results you want, we can work together directly. You can even schedule your own appointment by CLICKING HERE.  Talk soon!

 

January 24, 2015   100    Dating  
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