I made a big mistake, and don’t know how to fix it.



My english is not good, so please forgive..
i loved a girl(let her be x for convenience) for 4 years…i told her about my love..
she too was falling for me after 4 yrs..
but another girl(let her be y) who as just a crush came into my life.. and i chose the second one..i dunno why. but now i feel that it was the greatest mistake i ever made…
i left my real love just for a crush..
and i told x that i am in a relationship and i dont love x anymore…
and she was totally heartbroken.. she said she loved me a lot..but now she dont love me…
i really miss her(x)..
my relation with y lasted for less than a month…
i know i made a big mistake.. i need to say sorry to her(x)..
but i cant.. i dunno how she will react..
how will i say this to her…
she dont know that we broke up… she dont have any contact with me…
i love her a lot….. and i need to say sorry.. i dunno how to…
i need ur help…




You are in a difficult situation.

You need to see the truth of it: you demonstrated to x that you did not love her. When you showed her that so clearly, she believed you, and moved on. That’s what a healthy girl would do.

Sorry is not all you need to say. You will have to earn back her trust and respect and that may or may not be possible. My advice to you would be to talk to her, if not in person by card, email or text, and tell her that you recognize that you were foolish.

Be honest with her, and with yourself. Tell her why you went off with y and that you have learned what a mistake it was. Ask her if she would allow you to earn her trust and respect again.

Also, tell her that you have always loved her and that you were following the whim of your body rather than you heart when you went with y. (I suspect that is the case.)

Then, you will have to respect whatever she says. At best, she will give you another chance. At worst, you have learned an amazing lesson which you will never forget.

And, by the way, your english is excellent!

I wish you well.

Dr. Shaler

So this doesn’t happen again, and you learn better skills, subscribe to my twice-monthly newsletter, Tips For Relationships HERE now. 

January 24, 2015   108    Dating    
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