I love her, so much, and now i might lose her

q-100Hi everyone
i need help from everyone who is reading this.

my girlfriend mind is unstable toward me. i tried to ask her what’s the reason she replied that suddenly i don’t have any feelings for u,and i don’t want to hurt u in future by ditching u because i am confused between you and my close friend whom i have feeling similar like u and i have courier tension also..

she knows how much i love her. i had cried, also i m depressed too much due to her behavior. she needs only friendship with me and not more than that but i am afraid of losing her i love her lot every moment is killing me without her…
i am confused what should i do i really dont want to lose her i lover her lot….
please help me…

 


 

a-100Hi,

There is no “everyone” here, just me. This is the place where you can ask me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, a question. You need advice from a professional, not from “everyone” or you’ll get much more confused!

First, it is important to keep in mind that you CANNOT make anyone else do, say, think, or feel anything. That is up to them.

She seems to have told you clearly that you are not her boyfriend because she has another guy in mind at the same time. I know you don’t want to hear that, but she said it to you and you reported it to me.

When a girl tells you that she only wants friendship from you, believe her. Be her friend, if you can be.  Do not blur the lines. Respect her wishes. That is the best way to stay in relationship with her at all. If you cannot be her friend without making it clear you want more, and pushing the boundaries, then be honest with her. Tell her you love her and that you cannot just be her friend. Tell her that, should she want a relationship with you again, you should see where you both are at that time.

I know that it hurts a lot when someone you love doesn’t love you back in the same way. Really, the best way to get through this is to summon up your own self-esteem and self-confidence. That will help you realize that you are unwilling to wait to see if you win this contest between two guys. My big question in that is: would you really want someone who isn’t sure she wants you?

If she does decide that you are the one, and you go forward,  take it VERY SLOWLY because there is a great deal of uncertainty here for both of you…for different reasons.

I hope that helps.

I wish you well.
Dr. Shaler

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January 24, 2015   124    Dating    
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