q-100I wanted to ask for your advice just to see what you would say…

I recently failed some classes that I was suppose to get a C or higher in order to get into my program for school starting this FALL but the thing is I will not be able to due to me getting lower than a C in both classes…

I have disappointed my boyfriend so many times because these are actual classes that I have repeated from previous school semester but at a different school… I feel so bad that I have to tell him at some point but I just don’t know how to explain the truth to him… either or he is going to be mad and also hurt because he had high hopes for me… I was thinking what do you suggest I do… do you think I should write him a letter and just let him go… explain in the letter that I am sorry for everything but I think it is only right for us to not be together due to me and the stupid mistakes that I am making, and stating also that I wouldn’t want to be a burden to him any more… do you think that is the right thing to do???




In order to give you the best answers to your question, I would have to know more about your relationship. However, it seems this issue is front and center at the moment: you have failed a course. You talk about how it disappoints him, but not what it means to you.

Are you doing this for him or for yourself? Do you want to pass,  just think you “should”, or are you doing it to live up to someone else’s expectations?  If you want to pass, and you put in the time, effort and assignments, and then you don’t pass, that is one thing. If you are doing it for someone other than yourself, then it is not unlikely that you fail to complete it to the standard required.

To answer your question about how to tell your boyfriend, just tell him honestly and kindly–kindly to both of you.

If your performance in a class is critical to your relationship, you’re in the wrong one! Relationship have to be able to roll with disappointments and difficulties. If you committed to him that you would try your best, and did so, then, that’s all you can do.  If you committed to him that you would try your best and didn’t, that is an indication that you don’t care about your commitment or the relationship.

Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of  honesty, safety, trust and respect.  If you relationship is missing any one of these ingredients, you have to do some serious talking together, some serious honest talking together, now. Unless you live in different cities, don’t write to him. Sit down and have the conversation with him.

I hope that helps.



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