q-100I have hurt the girl I love to the point I was having a panic attack because she knows I would never do that, now she is sending horrible messages trying to hurt me purposely and I looked at her thinking that isn’t her, I don’t want to lose her what can I do?





The answer to your question is straightforward:


  • take full responsibility for what you did
  • explain to her that you understand you have hurt her deeply
  • ask what you can do to win back her trust in you.

Apparently, you DID hurt her, and therefore, the idea that “I would never do that” doesn’t seem to fit, does it?  If you are having panic attacks, it must be weighing on your heavily.

If you hurt her, you have to own up and step up and realize that there are consequences to your actions. It is SO important to think before you speak or act!

Now, it seems she is trying to make you feel the same pain that she felt. This is all very immature and self-centered on both your parts. Are you both very young?

Actions have consequences. Forgiveness is never for sure. If your girlfriend is open to believing you and giving you a second chance, that is up to her. All you can do is own your mistake, learn from it and demonstrate your learning by never letting it happen again. Behavior is everything. Words are cheap.

I wish you well.
Dr. Shaler

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