Can you get an ex girlfriend to speak to you after nearly a year apart and become reattracted to you if she is engulfed in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship that may not be a rebound.

We have spent 8 months apart but she stayed in constant contact with me for the first six months requesting my friendship until i cut her off nearly 2 months ago so i could stop being needy and desperate.

My intentions are genuine, my head is clearing and my confidence is back. Ive made self improvements and believe we broke up due to loss of attraction and complacency so the relationship stalled out. I would like to re-establish contact and engage her casually and slowly from a position of intellect as opposed to emotions but right now the new guy is wowing her with fancy things, extravagence, etc. any advice? We make sense and Im confident I can make her happy and genuinely want too.




It sounds as though you have taken some necessary time to catch up with yourself: who you are, what you value, what you want, and where you are headed.  Kudos on recognizing that you wanted to “stop being needy and desperate!”

Let me add an insight or two to your new-found wisdom:

If the ex in question can be wowed by fancy things and extravagances, would she value more lasting and genuine things?
If you “broke up due to loss of attraction and complacency ,” what makes you think that attraction can be rekindled in the face of the bright, shiny objects the new guy is dangling in front of her?Mouse trap with a red heart
Do you really want a woman who is impressed by things rather than values, by what she can get rather than love and respect she can count on?
Is she mature enough?

Hindsight is useful for learning. Now, you need to look at what the potential actually is. You may be confident you can make her happy, but there’s much more to relationship than that.

It’s not your responsibility to make anyone happy!

My advice to you is to have a careful think about what a balanced, loving, healthy relationship is comprised of and based on. Is that available here? And, can you really hope to create a happy relationship based on “intellect as opposed to emotions?” (P.S. The right answer is “No!”) I hope that helps. You’ve got more thinking to do, I think…lol.

I wish you well.
Dr. Shaler

You can always talk with me directly by scheduling your own appointment or free consultation HERE.



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