We’re best friends, and now he wants more – I’m not sure!

q-100So, my best friend is a guy and has basically just told me he likes me.

He said he didn’t want to rush anything and I said ok I understand but I think he took that as (she likes me and she’ll wait till Im ready) but I really just meant (I understand sometimes people fall for their best friend its natural) I wasn’t agreeing to a mutual affection. To be honest I dont know how I feel. Weve been friends for years and he understnands me like no one else does, but I dont know if my feelings are just ( I’ve known you for a long time and we are really close) feelings or (Im completely in love with you) feelings.

I want to know if I should at least give him a chance just to see what happens or just stay safe in our friendship. For years now people have been telling us y’all are a cute couple and one day y’all are going to fall in love and get married. Am I just ignoring the truth, when everyone else can see it? or have we let other people trick us into thinking we like each other, and weve grown so close that we think that we SHOULD want more.

Basically I dont want to loose him and Im afraid that if we date and it doesn’t work out I will loose him but also now that I know how he feels if I tell him I may not feel the same it will just become super awkward and our friendship will be ruined anyway!!


 

a-100HI,

You’re really at a crossroads. You want him in your life and don’t want to risk losing him, yet you may lose him by not taking the risk of finding out what is really there for the two of you. I get it!

Because you clearly understand that your communication with him when he told you he liked you was not as honest and accurate as it could have been, start there. Talk to him about that conversation. Be real. Be honest. Tell him you never want to lose him and it scares you because you are confused. Tell him what you told me. If he really wants to be emotionally intimate with you, he’ll get it, too.

I wish you well.
Dr. Shaler

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January 24, 2015   124    Dating    
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