q-100My spouse is a psychologist. he has been for about 15 years.  about 2 years after he got his degree he started convincing me that I had all kinds of mental illnesses and after so long of hearing the same thing all the time you start to believe it well now we’re separated.  but before his graduation we hardly ever had any bad words to say to each other first started with I think you got this that’s why you act like you do and then drug problem I was getting so fed up with everything I started losing my temper the morning more drugs even turn my kids against me where they would stay away from me well we’re separated he got the kids in custody battle and now I’m not allowed to see or speak to me is there anything I can do about this because I wasn’t crazy before I just feel like a big project



a-100Unfortunately, becoming a psychologist does not guarantee that an unreflective person will become wise, kind, supportive and insightful!  You’ve experienced this now.

As you say, he “turned you into a big project”.  It seems he may think of you as his first client!

I’m so sorry that you went through this. You gave him a great deal of validation and power over your life and it has not turned out well for you, as you say.

To answer your question about what can be done about your situation, I would need to know a little more information:

  • What state are you in?
  • How long ago did you divorce?
  • Did he ever serve you with a restraining order, and, if so, why?
  • What are his allegations about your inability to co-parent?
  • Did you have court appointed mediators involved in your case, or only lawyers?
  • Have Child Protective Services ever been involved in your case?

Those would be good starts for me to help you.  I’ll watch for your answers.

I wish you well.

Dr. Shaler

And, P.S. You’re not crazy now, nor were you likely ever!

get the relationship help you need in-person or through Skype videoRhoberta Shaler, PhD is The Relationship Help Doctor. She works with individuals, couples, families and workplace teams to help them develop the skills, insights and solutions that lead to better communication, conflict management and collaboration. You can work with her online through Skype® or Google+, by phone, or in-person in her office in Escondido, CA, at The Optimize Center.

For immediate insights, subscribe to her blog at www.RelationshipHelpDoctor.com  There are hundreds of posts there and a search button to help you find what you need.


Disclaimer: all advice, insights and suggestions made here are not to be construed as psychological or legal advice. Any actions you undertake as a result of reading any article, book, ebook or blog post from Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, are entirely your own. Having worked with individuals and couples for more than twenty-five years, she offers her opinions  for your consideration only.  

160    Spouse/Partner  
Total 0 Votes:

Do you have a Relationship Question?

+ = Verify Human or Spambot ?

Log In is required for submitting new question.