Wisdom & Insights on Resolving Relationship Problems:
We have thought of peace as passive and war as the active way of living. The opposite is true. War is not the most strenuous life. It is a kind of rest cure compared to the task of reconciling our differences … From War to Peace is not from the strenuous to the easy existence; it is from the futile to the effective, from the stagnant to the active, from the destructive to the creative way of life … The world will be regenerated by the people who rise above these passive ways and heroically seek, by whatever hardship, by whatever toil, the methods by which people can agree.
~Mary Parker Follett, 1918
Whether humanity will consciously follow the law of love,
I do not know. But that need not disturb me.
The law will work just as the law of gravitation works, whether we accept it or not.
~ Mohandas Gandhi
Having someone wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night is a very old human need.
~ Margaret Mead
Our capacity to make peace with another person and with the world, depends very much on our capacity to make peace with ourselves.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.
There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west –
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
The moment you put a mental label on another human being, you can no longer truly relate to that person. . . It then becomes possible to perpetrate any act of violence.
~ Eckhart Tolle
Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade.
Without credible communication, and a lot of it, employee hearts and minds are never captured.
~ John P. Kotter
For lack of an occasional expression of love,
a relationship strong at the seams can wear thin in the middle.
In communications that are difficult or draining, ease into the heart and find something to appreciate about the person you’re dealing with, or find a feeling of compassion or kindness. This will clear your mind and give you the coherence you need to know what to say next. That’s energy efficiency at work.
~ Doc Childre and Howard Martin
Oh, the comfort – the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person – having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand
will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping,
and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.
~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859
Conflict is always a product of the ego and the mind, not the heart.
~ Johanina Wikoff
If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make,
who would you call and what would you say?
And why are you waiting?
They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
~ Carl W. Buechner
Sometimes it is the person closest to us who must travel
the furthest distance to be our friend.
Sticks and stones are hard on bones
Aimed with angry art,
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart.
~ Phyllis McGinley, “Ballade of Lost Objects,” 1954
The key to resolving conflict is “suspension of one’s own
point of view as the only point of view.
~ David Bohm
Assumptions are the termites of relationships.
As you learn to Freeze-Frame highly-charged emotions,
you also learn to communicate directly to people
without the extra voltage that can cause them to be defensive,
while frying your nerves and draining your energy bank.
~ Doc Childre
I like her because she smiles at me and means it.
Every conflict reflects what each person most needs to learn in that moment.
~ Kenneth Cloke
Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings.
In the end, who among us does not choose to be
a little less right to be a little less lonely.
You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you,
but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.
The greatest tragedy of human existence is the illusion of separateness.
Relationship does not live in essence unless you can reliably
tell the truth without being prompted.
~ Kathryn Hendricks
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