Emotional Savvy Circle Members Salon

Welcome, !

I’mDr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor so glad you are here.

Jump in! Visit our private social network, post and share among members, find groups to participate in discussions… make new friends and allies who can relate to your situation and experiences. Creating new, supportive, empathetic relationships can be incredible healing and restorative.

I’ve curated some of my relevant articles and videos just for you, to help you more easily recognize the patterns in your relationships–the healthy ones, and the less-than-healthy ones!Enjoy!

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler
The Relationship Help Doctor

Want to share your story?

If you’re feeling strong enough to share your experience, and perhaps be interviewed for my podcast:

From this page, you can access all the benefits of your membership.  Use the directory below to get to where you want to be.

Member Activity

What everyone’s been up to:

Latest Activity

  • Kera posted an update 2 weeks ago

  • If you are in the US, you may have had a Hijackal experience over the Thanksgiving holiday. Hijackals MUST ruin holidays to stay in control of you, and the situation. They get very anxious at holidays–although you won’t likely see the anxiety–that they’ll lose control of someone, or everyone. So, they make mountains out of molehills, and are…[Read more]

  • Hi, I have written in this group and got no reply. How come?

  • Vida Alauf became a registered member 3 weeks, 2 days ago

    • Hi, my name is Vida, I am an ex partner of a HJ. I am in this group because I want to recover from the consequences of this relationship. I left him 2 months ago and went “no contact”, but sometimes I still meet him in social dance events where we used to go together. This causes me anxiety. I have remooved him from FB and all contacts but just…[Read more]

      • Hi, Vida,
        I’m so sorry that you did not get a quick response. That was a quirk of our system, and we’ve fixed it now.

        Yes, it is difficult to keep yourself safe in all circumstances, I know. Good for you for removing yourself and going ‘no contact.’

        If he is like most Hijackals, he will try to take over all your friends and family. So, his…[Read more]

        • Hi doctor Rhoberta,
          thank you for your reply. I feel comforted and uderstood reading your encouraging words!
          I have been using the deep breathing several times a day and it REALY helps me to calm down and think moore clearly.
          I have also been doing the 21 steps you have been sending – got some important insights. Thank you!

          • Great! I’m glad you’re finding–and creating–value from these. The 21 Steps offer patterns for creating the life and relationships you most want, and they are useful for a lifetime.

            It’s difficult some days to maintain ‘no contact,’ I know. And, you recognize how essential it is to your well-being, as well.

            Big hugs,

What’s Happening in GROUPS:

Coparenting with a Hijackal

What’s Happening in GROUPS:

Loving, Living with, and Leaving a Hijackal®

Latest Activity

Raised by a Hijackal

Latest Activity

  • Rhoberta Shaler, PhD posted an update in the group Group logo of Raised by a HijackalRaised by a Hijackal 4 weeks ago

    When tragedies strike, are you triggered badly? If fires and shootings upset you deeply, you are likely triggered by past abuse. Let’s talk about that.

    • i was surprised by the emotional reaction i had when listening to the news about the fires the other day… i wouldn’t say “triggered” but it’s rare that I have physical reactions to things like that. I imagine it’s just a wave of empathy 🙂 but maybe it’s more. I don’t know…

      • It’s a good thing if it’s a wave of empathy! I think we respond deeply to the possibilities of pain and loss. We’ve all felt that, and that’s what empathy is.

        The trick for all of us is to have healthy empathy and compassion…for ourselves and others. Too many people cannot keep that balance, and they go too far, for too long.

        If you came…[Read more]


Hijackal-Related articles & posts

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