Toxic people, difficult people, push you to do what they want you to do. Learn to say no.
They will shame you, blame you, and game you into it...or, at least try.
And, when you allow the manipulation, you feel one of two things:
- hopeful that, if you do what they want, they will like you more, or treat you better, or
- defeated, and ashamed or sorry, that you once again are giving in to them.
Neither of those feelings is helpful when you are in a relationship with a Hijackal®, right? Either way, you are disempowered.
You want to be in control of what you do, think, feel, and want.
Toxic people will even go so far as to tell you what you feel or think, or at a minimum, what they think you should do, think feel, and want. You've noticed that, I'm sure. Don't let them do that. They want to define your reality for you. If you let them, they will take over your life.
Focus on saying YES! to yourself.
- What do you want?
- What do you value?
- What is OK with you?
- How do you want to be treated?
- What is your vision for your life?
- How do you want to feel in relationships?
- What do you believe and how are you demonstrating that?
You have the absolute right to do your life your way! Therefore, you need to learn to say no sometimes.
Maybe, though, you come from a family that had a difficult, dominating or manipulative person in it. Having one in your current adult life seems somehow comfortably uncomfortable. When you recognize that, that's the time to get help from a person who has both the expertise and experience to help. Because I've been through all this, as well as having a doctorate in psychology, that's a good combination to be able to support you. My clients are all over the world, and they tell me that they finally feel heard, seen, and validated. That's what you want, too.
In the Emotional Savvy podcast shared here below, my guest, Laura Rubinstein, and I discuss how to make this shift more easily, the mindset shift of learning to say yes to yourself so that you can confidently learn to say no to others. Are you ready for more of that?
Listen to this episode of Emotional Savvy, The Relationship Help Show now:
To listen to other episodes, visit: RelationshipHelpShow.com