Category Archives: Relationships At Work

Hijackals never stop finding fault and demanding control and power

Is Name-Calling Ever OK?

IS NAME-CALLING EVER OK? EVEN IN AN ARGUMENT? You lose it. You’re angry, out of control, and maybe, even a little out of your mind. You want to win. You want to be heard. You want to be acknowledged. You want to feel validated. So, some words you hate hearing from others come bellowing out…

Learn to Say NO! to Toxic People? It Requires Saying YES! to Yourself

Toxic people, difficult people, push you to do what they want you to do. Learn to say no.  They will shame you, blame you, and game you into it…or, at least try. And, when you allow the manipulation, you feel one of two things: hopeful that, if you do what they want, they will like…

What Good Is There In Receiving Criticism From Someone You Hardly Know?

Have you ever experienced receiving criticism from someone you hardly knew–and, who hardly knew you?  It’s a strange situation, isn’t it? I think so. I wonder if they think it is a way to build intimacy in a relationship that is barely past the acquaintance stage? Or, is it an attempt to demonstrate their vast awareness…

drama in my relationship

You’re Not Me So You Don’t Know What I Think Or Feel.

Difficult people in your life–especially the relentlessly difficult ones I call Hijackals®–like to tell you what you think, what you feel, or what you should think or feel. That’s covert verbal abuse! Did you know that? Where do they get off doing that? Yet, many people are so used to that behavior that they no…

Relationship Help: S/he Who Won’t Be Pleased!

Have you ever lived with, or worked with or for, S/he Who Won’t Be Pleased? No matter how much attention, time or effort you give something, it is not good enough. No matter how much you offer, you are discounted for not offering more, or for not offering something different. Relationship problems result. Does it…

Passive-Aggressive Behavior: Why Do You Tolerate It?

Passive-aggressive behavior is crazy-making. You know–especially if you’ve been reading this blog for a while–that to end passive-aggressive behavior you need to have strong boundaries. So why do you continue to tolerate passive-aggressive behavior? It takes two to be passive-aggressive you know. A person cannot play that game alone!  So, why do you play?  Do…

Difficult People At Work Make You Want to Stay Home

Hijackals®, aka chronically difficult people at work, can create a daily hell when you have to interact with them. How do they show up and what can you do with them? A few weeks ago, my colleague and friend, Robert Imbriale, invited me to talk about my term, Hijackals–those chronically difficult people at work–on his…

I'll tell you what to think.

Boomerang of Blame: Why Difficult People Make It All Your Fault

“It’s crazy-making! No matter how wrong s/he is, it’s always my fault. I’m to blame!” That’s what I hear from so many clients: everything is always their fault. That’s because they are in relationships with chronically difficult people, aka Hijackals™  (scroll down for a quick video: My partner is constantly blaming me!) There’s a reason:…

Scary difficult person who mkaes you feel trapped and anxious.

Trapped By a Hijackal in Sheep’s Clothing? Beware!

Hijackals™ are chameleons when you first meet them. They will be just what you want them to be…and that’s the beginning of the path to feeling trapped. It’s like they can read your soul and give you the love, attention, and understanding you have longed for.   S/he scooped you up, engaged you fully, and stole…

What To Do When You’re Feeling Beat Up By Other People

Do you ever have a day when you  don’t feeling like risking getting out of bed in the morning? I’m talking about feelings, not about facts. You could be the president of the United States and know that it is fact that it matters if you get up, but you still don’t feel like it!…