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Category Archives: Passive-Aggressive Behavior

12 Signs You Are in a Love/Hate Relationship And Need Help

There is something wrong, something off, in your relationship. You can feel it, and you may not be quite able to put words to it, to describe it to yourself even. Yet, you know it’s not right! Good start! Go with your gut! Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing–and often dangerous–people, have “tells.” Those are the…

5 Ways to Recognize Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating, infuriating, and frankly…unfair! And, it’s sneaky! In fact, so sneaky that you’re often caught up in thinking that it actually makes some sense…at first, or for a while. Then, it dawns on you: Something’s not right with this but I can’t quite put my finger on it. So, in this recording,…

What to Say When a Hijackal Says You’re Being Overly Sensitive

Oh, that’s crazy-making, right? You try to talk about your feelings and you get shut down? In today’s episode, I give you insights into this whole nasty process of being blamed for being overly sensitive when you’re actually speaking up for yourself when attacked. You know what I’m talking about. IT HURTS! Are you told that you’re…

What Good Is There In Receiving Criticism From Someone You Hardly Know?

Have you ever experienced receiving criticism from someone you hardly knew–and, who hardly knew you?  It’s a strange situation, isn’t it? I think so. I wonder if they think it is a way to build intimacy in a relationship that is barely past the acquaintance stage? Or, is it an attempt to demonstrate their vast awareness…

Passive-Aggressive Behavior: Why Do You Tolerate It?

Passive-aggressive behavior is crazy-making. You know–especially if you’ve been reading this blog for a while–that to end passive-aggressive behavior you need to have strong boundaries. So why do you continue to tolerate passive-aggressive behavior? It takes two to be passive-aggressive you know. A person cannot play that game alone!  So, why do you play?  Do…

Things always your fault? It's crazy-making.

Always Your Fault? Always Wrong? You May Be With A Hijackal.

Is everything–somehow–always your fault? Do you so much want to believe your partner loves you, yet, you are so frequently being hurt? Do you justify your partner’s behavior with “S/he is just having a bad day, a bad time, under stress” too often? People who cannot allow themselves to think for one minute that something…

Hijackals never stop finding fault and demanding control and power

Anger & Aggression Ruin Relationships. Think About This.

When there is anger and aggression, do the wise thing: look inward first. Why start with you? Because you can’t change others! Be wise. Start with yourself. Anger and aggression? Other people can be crazy-making. No doubt! And, they can be scary: demeaning, belittling, demanding, threatening. All those things are aggressive. And, you so want…

I'll tell you what to think.

Boomerang of Blame: Why Difficult People Make It All Your Fault

“It’s crazy-making! No matter how wrong s/he is, it’s always my fault. I’m to blame!” That’s what I hear from so many clients: everything is always their fault. That’s because they are in relationships with chronically difficult people, aka Hijackals®  (scroll down for a quick video: My partner is constantly blaming me!) There’s a reason:…

Rhoberta Shaler anger quote blurt you hurt

Speaking When You’re Angry Costs Too Much. Do This Instead.

You are so angry and you just want to tell that !#&*()#$! what you really think…and what you believe s/he needs to know! Likely, that’s very unwise! Managing your anger is the most important issue at this moment. It’s a fleeting moment, don’t miss it. Managing Anger: Ask yourself: Where do I want to be…

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