Category Archives: OAAP – Hijackal Relationships

Learn to Say NO! to Toxic People? It Requires Saying YES! to Yourself

Toxic people, difficult people, push you to do what they want you to do. Learn to say no.  They will shame you, blame you, and game you into it…or, at least try. And, when you allow the manipulation, you feel one of two things: hopeful that, if you do what they want, they will like…

those red flags I didn't see

Those Red Flags! Why Didn’t I See Them Sooner?

Hindsight is excellent. You know that. One of the hardest things to see when you’re falling in love is those red flags. You want to fall in love. It’s wonderful. It’s magical. Nothing should get in its way. Not even a Hijackal™*! Those red flags may not have been waving wildly, just quietly and occasionally.…

When Is It A Rough Patch and When Is It Abuse? Recognize abuse!

Is what you’re going through–or watching someone else go through–just a rough patch or actually abuse? Too many people put up with bad behaviors they make excuses for, and put up with, that are really abusive and need to stop! Recognize abuse when it’s happening. No one likes to think they are being abused. You, like…

What Is Narcissistic Behavior? Believe Actions, Not Words!

Have you ever been lured into a store with the promise of a great–almost unbelievable–deal? Then, you get there and find that there are conditions: the deal is only available for people with perfect credit, green hair, purple eyes, an IQ of 220 and whose mother had no children? Otherwise,  you’re out of luck. Or,…

Ssssh! Your Secrets Are Never Safe With A Hijackal

Of course, you want the intimacy that is part of a loving relationship, especially the emotional intimacy of having that one special person who knows you better than almost everyone else. That’s natural. You long for closeness and safety. But, you have a tumultuous relationship with your partner, a relentlessly difficult person, a Hijackal®*. You…

verbal abuse and emotional abuse when angry

Being Verbally Abused May Be Something You’ve Gone “Nose-Blind” To!

Are you being verbally abused? It’s there. It’s always in the air. It could strike or rebound at any time. Have you gone nose-blind to it? “Nose-blind” is a phrase from a TV ad for air-freshener. The reason you’ve gone “nose-blind” to the awful smells in your house or car is because you have grown…

How Do You Know If You’re With A Narcissist

Some Hijackals™ have traits that include those of narcissists. I think that too many people use clinical labels for the behaviors of others without knowing what they really mean. To make it easier for non-clinicians to be accurate when describing these behaviors, I created the term “Hijackas” From this panel series I did with Helen…

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